TONIGHT ITS JUST ME AND ......

THE RABBIT! I get home. I'm alone. I want to get one off.  I have NO prospects. The season has been dry. Humans have basic needs. To connect is one of them. I could wait for someone to come along. Or I could reach into my nightstand drawer. "JIMMY" has NEVER let me down.

Modern times have introduced new TOYS. My co-worker invited me to a sex toy party. I had never been to one. I've heard of all the GADGETS that women were using. Just never thought about it. The party was alot of fun. I actually learned a lot about how my clitoris works. It appears you don't really need a penis. The consistent vibration on that G spot, guarantees the big O. I NEEDED a BIG O. I bought myself a RABBIT. Seemed easy enough. The fist time I tried it, it didn't work. I guess its like having sex the first time. You need to develop a rhythm. My hand eye coordination wasn't the best. A few more trys, JIMMY and I were EN LOVE. I couldn't believe how much I came. I had never cum that much with a man. A few weeks later, I started seeing someone. He was pretty cool. We were starting to get close. He asked me when was my last relationship, "about two years ago". "I've dated off and on, nothing serious". I told him I hadn't been with a MAN in a really long time. BUT I had a little TOOL, named Jimmy, who I hooked up with. He told me he wanted to be more than a booty call.  The time was right. He led me to my bedroom and started to undress me.  He asked if I had any condoms. I told him to reach into my top drawer. When he felt around, he pulled out my rabbit. He asked me what it was. I said meet JIMMY! He didn't think it was sexy. Overtime, he actually became jealous. He told me to choose. You guessed it!
STILL SINGLE

SO I'VE PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT....I STILL LOOK

GOOD! The media has EVERYONE on a diet. Models are slim white women. Video VIXENS are bootylicious black women. I think I'm somewhere in between. I used to be the bomb. Cute in the face, slim in the waste. Then we started dating. I got a little comfortable. I'm beautiful at ANY size. You love ME don't you? Maybe I am PHAT, but am I still your BABY?


Having BODY, makes life easier. I LOVE looking good. He saw my BUTT before he saw my face. That was our running joke. He was a mechanic where I got my car fixed. Our chemistry was instant. I'm a girly girl. I'm all; hair, nails and make up. He was so in to me.  We'd been together for almost a year. We were going strong. Looking in the mirror one day, I noticed a little more jiggle in the middle. WHATEVER. He loved my ASSETTS. Life is stressful. I didn't have as much time to get to the gym. I didn't have as much time to get my hair and nails done. Men don't have the same pressure. While getting dressed for work, he pinched my stomach. I looked at him and said "what"? He told me that I needed to get back in the gym. I was waiting for him to laugh. He didn't. He was serious. I was embarrassed. Maybe I had become a little TOO comfortable. I've never been THAT girl. I've always gotten attention for the way I looked. I decided to ignore his comments and do me. A few more months passed, my clothes weren't fitting. I noticed him acting different. I didn't want to believe. I had actually let myself go. He broke it off. Made up some excuse about needing to focus on his kids.  I'm working on losing the weight. I'm doing it for me. Women just can't forget. Whatever you USED to get them, you better maintain to KEEP them.
Still Single

YOU NEED A BREAK......FROM US OR JUST

ME? Relationships are work.  Sometimes you feel like you have two jobs. Three if you have children. I'm ready to make this a FT gig. He's not? He's says that he loves me. We have been talking about OUR future. We've been together for more than a year. I'm almost 35 years old. I know what I want. He's older than me.  But HE needs more time. I'm tired of dating. I've been patient. He wants to make sure that I'm the one? So now you need a break? "Maybe he just needs some time before he proposes"?.... Yeah, I don't believe that either.

We've dated off and on for several years. This time it felt right. I always thought he might be the one. Even though my mother didn't. He was an established business man. I was starting a new career. We were both ambitious. He told me what he wanted in a wife. Nothing unreasonable. Dinner dates were like business deals. I was ready to enter negotiations. When you are mature adults, you should lay all of your cards on the table. I thought we were progressing. Then I received the email. It basically said he was taking a trip with some FRIENDS. He needed to clear his head. He wasn't sure where we were going? I didn't know how to respond. It was one thing to take a BREAK. It was another to take it for two weeks half around the world. I know men struggle with commitment. We have so few options. I hated waiting. He returned and as predicted, things were awkward. He told me he wanted to cool things down. "Maybe a little time apart would bring us closer". How?  I was crushed. And disappointed. I wanted to call him and curse him out, but decided not. I'm a southern LADY. He's over 40 and still LOOKING. I sent him an email. Simply stated; "I don't need MORE time apart, to know we shouldn't be together". Life is too short to never be FOUND.    Still single

MAYBE IM NOT NUMBER ONE, BUT WHOSE

COUNTING?  Yes I have to admit I'M THE CHICK ON THE SIDE. Its never intended. It just happens. He's my old boo. He calls just to catch up. You decide to meet for lunch. He complains about his relationship. You know how it goes. At first your his counselor. Then your lovers again. I didn't want him back. Men are all the same. Why be number one? You only get hurt. Maybe I am lowering my standards. Or maybe I'm just playing it smart. Being number two has its benefits. I enjoy almost all of the amenities of WIFEY but with no fear of finding out about ME!

It was like 12 in the morning. I couldn't believe he was calling this late. I asked him where was his girlfriend? He didn't respond. We were still good friends. The conversation was innocent. We caught up and decided to have lunch. Over lunch, all he did was complain about her. I listened and tried to be optimistic. I never thought a few weeks later he'd be in MY bed. At first I felt some guilt. Then I thought, "he's not married". Our relationship became pretty routine. We talked all the time. We went out all the time. His girlfriend must have been an idiot. It was like he was my man. He acted like my man. I guess I forgot he wasn't. Out of nowhere, he called and told me that he was getting married. And he was sorry, we couldn't see each other any more. I will admit I was hurt. But I couldn't be angry. Its all apart of the game. SOME girlfriends graduate to wives. But some CHICKS never make it to mistress.      
Still Single

IF THE "BITCH" FITS ........

WEAR IT! I love black women. Let me be real. I love WOMEN. I've dated outside of my race. But remain faithful to my own. I get a little tired of the "angry black woman thing".  Its ridiculous. We don't have a script on how to degrade women. There are certain women who have just not been taught how to SHOW respect. I am a man of GREAT constraint. Most of us have said things we regret. I don't.  Because when I call a woman a BITCH, I mean it.

Two years and she STILL doesn't know how to say THANK YOU. She was beautiful and educated. We met at a business conference. Her ambition and drive was sexy. I have dated all types of women, black white, asian, latino and OTHER. She fit some of the stereotypes.  A classic Ms INDEPENDENT; bossy, opinionated, can do everything herself, I was still attracted. She motivated me. I wanted to grow with someone. She was a good soundboard. Over dinner, I shared with her my new idea. A breakfast truck, that sold NOTHING but grits. Cinnamon grits, cheese grits, grits and bacon, I had a thousand recipes. The business plan wasn't complete but she got the gist. Maybe she was PMSING, maybe she was drunk, either way she was pissing me off. Her questions were condescending, her tone was belittling. I had dealt with this for TWO years. I had enough. I told her to shut up. She just stared at me and KEPT talking. I told her to get up, so we could leave. She refused. I wanted to get out of there. I waved to the server to bring the bill. I told her this wasn't working, "maybe we should take a break"? She laughed and said she'd have another boyfriend by tomorrow. I just shook my head and got up. As I walked away, I passed yet ANOTHER angry black woman who over heard me mumble something under my breath. She asked me "who you calling a BITCH"? I wanted to say YOU Queen Latifah, but THAT BITCH wasn't for her.     Still Single

BUT IT HURTS SOOOOOOO..

GOOD. The first time it shocks you. Then he makes the promise. Then it happens again. You want to believe him. He's always sorry afterwards. "I don't know why I make him so angry"? His RAGE frightens you. But his intensity turns you on. No one would understand. I know this is wrong. I'm ashamed that I LOVE him but more ashamed that I LOVE the PAIN.

My father used to hit my mother. I never knew why she stayed.  I swore I would never be like her. I had found the ideal man. He was so kind. We were the picture perfect couple. My friends envied how he treated me. We did everything. Traveling, shopping, dining, the sky was the limit. When we made love, he was so aggressive. I loved it. Our relationship was passionate. The moment I would  hit the door, we were at it. I thought he was happy. After I got a new job, things started to change.  I was promoted to manager and had to work longer hours. I never knew how insecure he was. He accused me of cheating. I wasn't. One day when were arguing, he slapped me. I couldn't believe he hit me. He immediately apologized. I was dazed. When he grabbed my hair, I thought he was going to hit me again. He didn't.  He kissed me and threw me on the bed. I wanted him to stop but became aroused. The sex was so intense. I was ashamed that I came. It started to become a cycle. We would fight then F**K! It was getting out of control. I had to end it. I told him he needed help. He agreed. We broke up the following week. I wish things could have been different. I just wanted him to stop beating ME up, not the P**SY. .........Still Single

GIRLS NIGHT OUT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT....

THE GIRLS. Women understand each other. Men will let you down.  Your girls will ALWAYS have your back. You have a friend who lets you cry. You have a friend who will help you fight. They know  EVERYTHING . But they never judge. When you don't have someone special in your life, your girls never leave your side. At least until they meet someone.

We've been friends since grade school. I can't think of a single life event without her. We've shared everything, from secrets to shoes. When I broke up with my ex, she helped me move. I was in a relationship for a minute. She'd been single forever. I was missing all the fun. She was so happy we were BOTH single. I was ready for girls night out! Happy hour was our speciality. We always arrived early. We wanted to secure a good spot at the bar. I had the hips and she had the tits. We never liked the same type of guy. While standing at the bar, I noticed this guy giving me some rhythm. He was kind of cute. I told my girl. She looked over and said "I know him".  "He used to date my cousin". A few minutes later, we were ALL on the dance floor. I was having a good time.  For a moment, it was a little awkward. Everytime we would get close, she would come between us. The night was winding down and I still didn't have his number. He walked us to the car. He mentioned how much fun he had. Then he just walked away. A few days later, my girl said she was going on a date. It was with the dude from the other night. She said she'd been eyeing him for awhile. I was a little pissed, "I saw him first". She snidely replied "well you never got his number". REALLY?  I guess ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, don't really want to be SINGLE after all.  ........Still Single (and so is she:)

WAIT A MINUTE IS MY WALLET.......

missing? Everyone handles stress different. We are all so busy. Doctors are often only seen when somethings wrong. We don't know how to take care of ourselves. Alcohol, cigarettes and sex are quick fixes. Some even find an escape in food. Maybe I did notice him having too many drinks. Maybe I did notice him smoking too many cigarettes. But does that mean I'm dating an addict? OF COURSE NOT. But has anybody seen my toaster?

He was a former co-worker.  One day I saw him at the mall. We exchanged numbers and had our first date. The relationship took off pretty fast. Although he had been through a very nasty divorce, he was ready to be in another relationship. I enjoyed his company. He was very sweet. We were together all the time. I wasn't used to that much attention. It was nice. He would often talk about his financial struggles. He had two children and was behind with his mortgage. When we were together, I wanted it to be like an escape. I noticed he enjoyed his alcohol. Sometimes he was too drunk to drive home. He was stressed. As time went on, his drinking turned to chain smoking. I encouraged him to not drink or smoke. He said he had it under control. I started to notice his clingyness. He wanted to have sex all of the time.  If I appeared even a little upset, he'd immediately make things better. His behavior was becoming more erratic. He would show up at my house unannounced and disoriented. I wanted him to get some help. He swore he would stop drinking and start using the patch. Things seemed to get better. He was less moody and more optimistic. He started working out and eating better. He was like the energizer bunny. A few months passed, I realized he NEVER slept. He was ALWAYS at the gym. He had found a new addiction. I had enough and called it quits. A week later my home was broken in to and my TV was stolen. Dammit! I knew CRACK was next.  Still Single

BIRDS OF A FEATHER ALMOST ALWAYS....

flock together. I thought when we met that this was it. He was everything that I was looking for. I knew his family and he knew mine. We shared the same interests and we had the same dreams. It didn't hurt that the SEX was off da hook! Things took off really fast but there was one thing? His FAMILY was just a little........

He lived in another city. We managed to make time for each other. He came to see me for my birthday and we hung out all weekend. When I went to see him, we would often hang around his family. Yes they were a little ghetto. But they were also really nice. I thought to myself "I have to be OPEN to different experiences". So what if his family seemed to drink too much. It also shouldn't matter that they always seemed to have a HUGE supply of WEED. So what if his friends seemed a little suspect and nobody had a JOB. You're not suppose to judge a man by his family and friends. He was different. Unlike his friends he had a job. He seemed really stable. He had two kids and was taking care of them, at least I thought.  One day I received an anonymous email. The email said; he had six kids, bad credit, and several outstanding warrants. My mind was racing. When I brought this to his attention, he tried to say  it was probably one of my old flings sending lies to break us up. I was stuck on STUPID. I started racking my brain trying to figure out who could it be. It was his ex. She hacked into his email and stole my address. Needless to say; he did have six kids in several states, several outstanding warrants for unpaid child support, bad credit, and had been living with this woman for TEN YEARS. I was right about one thing. He was different from his friends. They were honest. 
Still single.......

"IM JUST SAYING YOU COULD DO.....

BETTER"!  I knew he was cheating. I honestly didn’t care. I was exhausted with trying. All relationships have challenges. We had invested almost five years. Our families were involved. We had talked about marriage. I told myself “things will get better”. When it didn't, WE didn't know what to do. So we did what no man or woman should ever do, stay in a bad relationship because your scared to leave. I really wanted this to work.  I NEEDED this to work. I just couldn’t walk away. Something had to give. What do you do when the man that you are with is no longer the man that you love?


After the accident, he was different. He wasn't motivated to find work or even take a bath. I was holding down the household and all of the bills. I loved him. I knew he was depressed but he didn't want to admit it. I believed in him. I just couldn’t leave him when he was down.  I was working more hours and spending less time at home. I noticed his distance. I’m sure he could feel mine. I was drained. I had nothing left. I started to hang out more with my girls. He started to hang out more with his friends. EVERYONE could see what was happening. I knew I deserved better. Even his best friend told me that I should move on. Things just kept getting worst. He no longer had a cell phone, so he was using mine. One day I was reviewing my bill and noticed the same number at odd times. Not at all surprised, I just called her. She told me that it started as a friendship but later became sexual.  We talked for hours. I learned that she had been in my car. I learned that she had been in my home. He wasn't JUST f*cking this woman. They had become more. I thought I would be shattered. I thought I would feel betrayed. I thought…….  "this lying M**her F**ker had better get out of my house"!  I took a deep breath and regained my composure. She apologized and actually seemed sincere.  She said that he told her that we had been over.
Actually that was true……….Still Single.