HOW COULD YOU DENY YOUR OWN.....

FLESH AND BLOOD? Men lie. Women lie. We all lie. Some say "a lie is a lie". I don't agree. I tell my girlfriend "I like your hair color"! I actually don't. Thats a lie. My boyfriend is seeing another woman. I ask him if he's cheating. He denies it. Thats a lie. My boyfriend as a result of his cheating conceives a child. He denies IT. This is not JUST a lie. YOU are not a MAN!

We were at a crossroad. After three years, we were trying to figure US out. I knew we loved each other. We had experienced so much together. I was going to spend my life with him. Then she called. The call caught me off guard. I cursed her out. I called her all types of BITCHES. She hung up. She had blocked her number. I couldn't call back.  I confronted him. He denied the relationship. He said it was some chick who had been hanging on for years. I didn't really know what to think. We had some problems but I never felt he was cheating. After that call, I never heard back from her. Several months went by, he proposed. I was little nervous.  I loved him. I wanted to marry him. I accepted. A month or so later, we had more news. I was pregnant. Our life seemed to be moving forward. The wedding plans were on there way. The baby was kicking up a storm. We moved into OUR new digs. I could not have been happier. He was by my side the entire time. He cried when he saw the first sonogram. He told EVERYONE we was having a boy! A letter came to the house. It was a child support notice. It was from that woman who I'd cursed out. I found out later, she wasn't calling to tell me about HER. She was calling to tell me about HIM. His ELDEST son. .........Still Single

OH AND BTW, THANKS FOR THE.........

DISEASE! Betrayal has many different stages. She had to know. I've been with a FEW women. I'm not a saint. I USUALLY where condoms. I wouldn't say I'm reckless. This was a professional church going woman. Who would ever thought SHE had an STD? I guess just like a bullet, HERPES has no name either!

We attended the same church. She spearheaded the outreach ministry. A few casual conversations,  I asked her out. I had never dated anyone in my church. I decided to take it slow. We dated for a few weeks before any physical contact. We both believed that sex before marriage was wrong. When we saw each other in church, we barely spoke. I wasn't comfortable letting people know. We tried to resist the temptation. One night, we gave in. She was wild in bed. I guess the stereotype about church girls was true. We continued seeing each other for some months. I was at her house using the bathroom. I noticed a small bump. The next few days I noticed more. At first, I figured it was the detergent. It was new. Then I became concerned. I went to the doctor. They ran some tests. I could not believe what they told me. I had HERPES. I was in shock. I got burned as a teenager. Nothing serious. I guess I thought it couldn't never happen.The doctor prescribed some medicine. He told me that it was not a cure. He said that the breakouts could be minimized but I would ALWAYS have the disease. I would have to tell EVERY woman I slept with. I had only been with her a few times. I was ENRAGED. It is a feeling that you never want to have. I confronted her. She acted like she had know idea. She tried to flip the script. "Maybe I should get checked out too"? I wanted to grab her by the neck. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't change what had happened. I live with THIS everyday. I never spoke to her again. I no longer attend that church. I haven't been in a serious relationship in years. I struggle telling women. I know everybody has some baggage. Its just hard carrying mine. .....Still Single

SHE NEVER KNEW THAT HER BOYFRIEND WANTED.....

ME TOO! It was so hard to understand. He made it seem like it was ok. I never told anyone. I was only a teenager. I hadn't even seen a man naked before. My father was in jail. I tried to avoid his comments. I tried to avoid his help. It became such an everyday thing. I thought he would get over it. I thought he would stop. I never wanted his attention. I never thought my first sexual encounter would be so terrible. I also thought it wouldn't be with my MOTHERS MAN.


I developed pretty fast as a girl. Beyonce' made being "bootylicious" a real word. I've always hated the attention I got for my body. I wasn't looking to get involved.  We knew each other for years. He was like my male best friend. One day he told me he wanted to be with me. I had so many failed relationships. I knew he would be good to me. He was the perfect boyfriend. He was supportive. He listened. He didn't want ANYTHING from me. I never trusted any of my boyfriends. Men would always approach me because of the way I looked. I was actually insecure. He was different. He didn't treat me like an object. I still avoided being intimate. He was totally understanding. It was just hard for me to be open. I hadn't really dealt with my past. Every time a man was nice to me, I thought he had other intentions. He noticed my distance. I couldn't really explain it. I wanted to be happy. I just didn't know how. I decided I needed to deal with me. I broke it off. I have never told my mother what happened. I've always wondered if she knew. I'm still in therapy today. Its not always something funny. I hope my story helps to explain why some people SHOULD be.......Still Single

I REALLY NEED TO STOP..........

DRINKING! I am an educated woman. I was raised with very strong values. I've never had ANY problems with the law. I'm the first one in the office. I'm the last one to leave. I keep my body tight. I am extremely active in my church and professional association. I've even considered getting a second Masters Degree. On paper, I am the BOMB. In reality, you might consider me an alcoholic. I just think I have more fun DRUNK!

I have a really busy schedule. I've set a lot of goals for myself. I've achieved most of them. I would like to meet the right guy. In spite of my single status, I have a very active social life. I'm involved in several social groups. I also date often. My job requires me to travel a lot. I've been all over the country and abroad. In all honesty, I really can't complain. After work, a few us usually go to happy hour. We planned to go to a new spot on Friday. I'm usually the IT girl. Everybody wants me to go. I like to have a good time. The place was packed. We managed to find a table. I usually buy the first round. The guys in my office can't even hang. After my third shot, I was ready for my favorite. BONE CRUSHERS are SO good!. I don't know about other people. I like the way liquor tastes. Its like chocolate. I sometimes lick my glass. The night was winding down. I saw this really cute guy. I'm aggressive sober, drunk I'm all over you. We talked for minute then I told the crew I'm out. He walked me to the car. I'm sure he figured he was going to get some. I was probably going to give him some. I was feeling fine in the bar. When I got outside, I started to feel quizzy. I still wonder what the hell was that smell. A few minutes later, it was all over me. Then IT was all over him. He jumped back called me some obscene names and drove away. I managed to get to my car. I woke up the next morning still in the parking lot. It's my ONLY vice. Everybody has one. Some women sleep with every man they meet. I've NEVER had a one night stand........I'm usually TOO DRUNK for that.      Still Single  

WOULD YOU GIVE UP WHAT YOU LOVE FOR WHO....

YOU LOVE?  Life is about choices. Someone once said "live like its your last day". You might get hit by a bus tomorrow. Don't have any regrets. Take that trip to Europe. Sky dive off a plane. Drive across country. Have a threesome. Have a baby. Start that business. Buy that motorcycle. This is living right? The reality is, you will probably NOT get hit by a bus. You will probably live for the next 50 years. Only you know what you can live with and WHO you can live without.

I saw her and I knew.  "I could make a life with this woman." We never slowed down. First, she was a woman I'm seeing. Within a few weeks, she was my girlfriend. Then, we were engaged. I've always been a focused dude. I finished my undergrad degree in three years. Finished graduate school in less then two.  Opening my own business, was one of my things on my MUST do list. I stumbled across a great opportunity. I pitched the idea to my boy. We were off and running. A new business means long days and even longer nights. At first, she was supportive. She knew how important this was. The business wasn't taking off like I'd hoped. I barely slept. I wanted it to work so bad. It started to interfere with OUR time. She started complaining about the wedding plans. I tried to strike a balance. Everyday SOMETHING would come up. If the business was going to succeed, I had to make some sacrifices. We postponed the wedding plans. We later drifted apart. I don't have any regrets. I still love her. I just loved IT more.      Still Single

THE D**CK DON'T FIT..... YOU CAN'T

COMMIT! Women say they want a well endowed man. We make jokes about the "minute" man. We want our backs blown out. We want our toes to curl. We want to call our girls the next day and tell them how good it was. We want a man who brings IT.  Don't we?  MANDINGO is not a myth. Be careful what you ask for. MR. BIG might be TOO big for you!

My college years were life changing. I met so many different type of people. I was at my prime. I was living on campus. He was in the same dorm. We were all broke and filled with dreams. Hip Hop was becoming EVERYBODY new hustle. He was no different. He would come to my dorm and tell me about this GROUP. It was like 20 of them. He was so hyped about it. I didn't really get it. BUT I loved his energy. I knew he liked me. I wasn't really feeling him. Not really my type. We hung out a lot. He was always in my room writing rhymes. He started to grow on me. I started to feel a connection. My roommate was leaving for a home visit. I decided to surprise him. When he got to the door, I was all ready. He was all smiles. He couldn't wait. We started kissing and touching. I felt it. I was impressed. He backed away. He said he has something to tell me. I was like "OH NO, he's got a disease". He told me that he had problems fitting condoms. I laughed and said "oh you like that"? He looked so serious. I said "boy please lets get this going". After several popped condoms, I started to wonder. He wasn't playing. He told me he was disease free. He said he had his last AIDS test results. I figured? He must be telling the truth. I now wanted to see what was the big deal. OH it was a BIG deal. I mean I had never......  It was..... He must've had some type of birth...... After THREE painful attempts, I had to admit. I couldn't handle it. He told me that most women couldn't. He was actually sexually deprived because of his HUGE D**k! I'm not sure whatever happened to him. I always wondered what became of his group. I laugh now when I hear women say they want a big one. Let me tell you, aint NOTHING sexy about a shifted uterus.  Still Single

ITS NOT YOU, ITS NOT ME, ITS..... .....

TIME.  You ever met a guy who really has it together? He's financially stable. He has his own home. He travels extensively. He doesn't have any children. He's educated AND ambitious. They still exist. Not all men are avoiding a committed relationship. They want what we want. A grown established woman . Isn't it a damn shame when HE'S ready and YOUR not?

I met him through mutual friends. We always had a good vibe. We just never hung out. One day he asked. He was a really GOOD guy. I found myself not only liking him for me, but just liking him period. He had so much to offer.  I on the other hand was in transition. I had just moved BACK home with my parents. I was still working on my degree. My money was very limited. I really wasn't bringing sexy back. At first, he didn't seem phased by my living status. Our chemistry was strong. I was always at his house. I felt grown when we were together. I was always reminded that I wasn't. He wanted me stay over. I would usually leave before the sun came up. He found it ridiculous. My parents had very traditional conservative values. They didn't approve of me "sleeping over". It became such a headache. The bottom line was, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. I needed to focus on me. We later became really good friends. He's still a great guy.  I'm ALL grown-up. Of course he's married now. I'm happy for him. You don't always meet Mr. Right at YOUR right time.   Still Single

IF 30 IS THE NEW 20 THEN WE ARE BASICALLY..

THE SAME AGE. I wouldn't consider myself a cougar. But I do consider him my BOY TOY. He's not jaded. His optimism is refreshing. I enjoy him. He enjoy's me. What difference does it make if he's, 5, 10 maybe 15 years YOUNGER? Men date younger women all the time. We may not have that much to talk about. But when your dating a YOUNGIN, whose talking?

I didn't even think he noticed me. Until one day our casual conversation turned sexual. I've had friends with benefits, but he was different. He never needed any set up. He was always ready. I could look like crap. He would make me feel beautiful. The sex was, EXACTLY. I didn't even know what an African squat was, til I met him. Being around him was intoxicating. I would forget about my complicated life. He came over to do his laundry. One thing led to another, we were on the kitchen floor. I had to be at work by 8am. He wasn't working. I was getting ready for bed. He wanted to do it again. He was insatiable. I told him I was exhausted. He picked me up and we did it on the washer machine. The next morning, I was a mess. I overslept and couldn't find anything. My back was killing me and my eyes were swollen. I was frantically looking for my other shoe. I noticed he was still sleep. He didn't need to be anywhere. He could have sex all night and sleep all day. I kissed him and told him to lock my door before he left. We would never be more. We BOTH knew this. A few months later, my life was back to basics. I think about him now and again. He told me to call whenever I wanted IT back. I haven't called yet. I guess MY life needs more than just the GROOVE.     Still Single.

ITS NOT CHEATING ITS JUST A LITTLE....

PORN! Why would you get mad over a fantasy? She's not in my bed. I'm not REALLY touching her. What is the big deal? I've been looking at porn since I was a boy. Magazines, movies, books, I'm into it all. I'm not at the strip club. I don't even know these women. Its just me on the couch watching  a little ANDY GRIFFIN!

I had finally found a woman who I really dig. She was beautiful and sweet. We'd been together for about two years. Things were moving in the direction of marriage. One evening, she's sleep and I'm horny. I decided to have some fun with my girl. PINKY never let me down. I guess I was a little too loud. She wakes up and starts screaming on me about the video. I told her to calm down. I couldn't believe her reaction. It was like she was jealous of a porn star. I told her to stop tripping. She asked me how often did I do this. I told her whenever I was in the mood. She seemed so shocked. I guess I had never mentioned and she never asked. Weeks later,  I could tell she was still on guard. It was like she was trying to catch me. I came home early and smelled smoke. There was something burning in the trash can. She had found my stash! Burned up a TWENTY year collection. I was pissed. She claimed my porn made her FEEL like I wasn't being faithful. Well I was, until that night. Some things should just be left alone. PINKY was a fantasy SHE was my reality.     Still Single

"WORK AIN'T HONEST BUT IT PAYS THE

BILLS". Thug love is still alive. I want him to get out. He's so good at so many other things. He's so intelligent. His father was killed doing the same. We have three children. I am the only person he REALLY trusts. We are just like any other family. We have a home. Our children go to school. We celebrate Thanksgiving with our family. I've even started going to church. He LOVES us so much. THIS is the only world I know. If the money was gone, I'd still be with him. He says I'm lying. I know HE'S in the game. I just didn't realize how much I'M  playing too.

We grew up in the same neighborhood. In the late 80's, everybody was dealing. Hustlers were like government workers. They were everywhere. He was so confident. I don't know if it was the lifestyle or just him. I loved GUCCI and GOLD. I eventually fell en love with him. We had been together forever. There were moments of separation. When he got locked up, I dated other men. Once he got home, we were right back together. I always say its OVER.  It NEVER really is.  He was scheduled to be released. His homecoming was always bitter sweet. I would miss him desperately, but I'd always move on. The man that I had been seeing, knew about him. I was torn. His letters and words say the same, "things are going to be different baby, I'm out the game for good". I want to believe him. I'm almost 40 years old. I can't keep living this way. He was back home. The children loved having their father back. I want my FAMILY. He seemed different. He got a job doing security at a club. There were no late night RUNS. No odd calls with cryptic messages. He even started going to church with me. Maybe this time he was really out. After more than a decade, I finally felt safe. The feeling didn't last long. I was heading home to pick up my son, when I received a call. When I heard the woman say, "you need to get here immediately" I knew. I didn't know half the people at his funeral. I wondered if the person who killed him was there. I said to myself "they have blood on THEIR hands". When I was leaving the funeral home, a young lady stopped me. She asked me where did I get my Gucci bag from. I started crying and became hysterical. I threw the purse at her and said take it. My sister grabbed me and asked what was wrong. I told her the purse was old and damaged. I didn't want it anymore. No one else said anything. I guess I was the only one who could see the BLOOD.
Still Single