SINCE MUSLIMS DON'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, I WONDER IF THEY AT LEAST EAT

COOCH? Dating someone of a different faith can be challenging. Especially around the holidays. I've always been open with my dating. I don't want to eliminate a good option. There is just so much to learn.  "Do they eat chicken"? "Or is it Pork they don't eat"? "What if you are driving during prayer time"? "Do you stop?" "Can you be around a Christmas Tree?" "Or is that a sin"? And speaking of SINS? I know I may seem stupid, but this is important. These are serious concerns. I LOVE Christmas! I could consider losing Santa for the RIGHT guy. But MY right guy eats cooch!

I was studying for a test at the library. He sat near me. Very distinguished. You might even call him REGAL. It was something different about him. We ended up chatting about an article. I could feel our attraction. We exchanged numbers and went out that weekend. He told me that he was a Muslim. Very committed to his faith. I had a few friends that were Muslims. I never dated one. There are a lot of stereotypes about Muslim men. He didn't really fit any of them. We really hit it off! Christmas was approaching. It was already clear. He didn't celebrate. I was ok with not receiving a gift. I was going home for the holidays.  Before I left, we planned a very romantic weekend. I still didn't know. TONIGHT I figured, he will just keep kissing DOWN. It was about to be on! "I WAS getting a gift after all"! He was touching and licking all over me. When he got to my navel, he stopped and came back up. I was pissed!  I'd DONE him. I needed to know.  "Do you eat COOCH or not"?  He said in a very obnoxious tone, "NO, ITS AGAINST MY RELIGION".  "Well so is F**CKING, but you don't seem to have a problem with that?"        Still Single     

ALERT ALERT! IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN INVITED TO THANKSGIVING CHANCES ARE....

YOU'RE NOT MAKING IT TO CHRISTMAS! Holidays bring about more than CHEER. It offers you the opportunity to check relationship status. Spring and Summer dating don't count. You have to make it through Fall and Winter. The FAMILY season. The "boo its cold lets snuggle" season. The "what should WE get my parents" season. The "everybody knows you at my office Christmas party" season. The "if you are not invited to Thanksgiving you must NOT be serious" SEASON!

We met at the GOOD OLE CLASSICS. He could dance his ass off! I love men with rhythm. We instantly hit it off. He was a PG POLICE OFFICER. I was a criminal justice major. There was lots to talk about. He even took me on a police chase in his cruiser. Things seemed to be going well. We both still lived at home. He met my parents. After a couple of months, I noticed I never met his. He claimed that his mom was always busy. I never even went upstairs. I would always go through the basement. It was getting close to Thanksgiving. He told me that ALL of his family was coming over. I waited for my invitation. He finally said "you should meet the FAM". I told my girls I got the invite. We must be SERIOUS. The plan was set. My car was in the shop. He would pick me up around one. Thanksgiving day was here. My family left to go over to my aunt's. I waited for him to call. It was going on two. When I called him, he didn't answer. I couldn't believe it. "Im being STOOD UP on THANKSGIVING"?! A few days later, I heard what happen. He'd gotten back with his ex. She was WAY taller than me. He probably couldn't exchange her Christmans gift. She won't make it to Valentines Day.  
Still Single

HES NOT TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE...HES JUST TOO GOOD 4....

YOU! I thought the "I want a bad boy" days was over? Women are still IGNORING good men? What's up with that? So you want him to cheat on you? Oh he needs to be more UN available? I got it, he should be BROKE? A bunch of kids and their mama's is what turns YOU on?  If rough necks are still in, I am definitely OUT.

I met her on line. She actually approached me. I get hit on ALL the time. I'm not a bad looking guy. I have little SWAGGER. She seemed nice. We decided to meet for dinner. I will admit, I'm a little shy. It takes me a minute to warm up. I did. We laughed and talked about all types of things. Both of us loved traveling and the water. We had quite a few things in common. I was feeling a connection. She talked about all of the horrible men she had been meeting. I let her vent. She had dealt with a man who cheated. Another dude had lied about his education. She even dated someone who had NEVER lived on his own. I was NOTHING like that. I'm a lead consultant at an IT firm. I own my own home. I also have an investment property. Never been married. No kids. I thought the date went well. When I tried to call her the next day, no response. I figured I would send a text. No response. A few days later, she text me back. "sorry but you are not really my type, take care".  I sent this story to offer some advice. Maybe I don't have that EDGE. Yeah I'm a GOOD GUY. But I'M no longer single. Continue to look for your BAD BOY. And YOU will always be......"STILL SINGLE"

SO IM ON MY PERIOD.....

NOW WHAT? Its called a PERIOD for a reason. It only lasts a few days. Okay, maybe I'm not in the best of moods. Women have SO many changes. Men just don't get it. It's hormonal. The life cycle begins and ENDS with us. Its not an excuse for you to cut up. "Oh she on her period, I'm going out". NO! GROW UP. ITS A PERIOD not a SENTENCE!

I think I started my period when I was nine. Womanhood began. When your girl, its just a mess. As a teenager, you are a ITCH. As a WOMAN, I'm CRAZY. Every time my period came, he went ghost. I noticed his distance. I decided to bring it up. He blamed me. "You trip every month, SAME time". "UHHHH?". I'm still going to work. I'm still fixing dinner. I'm still down for sex. BLACK TOWEL AND ALL! "What am I doing that's SO crazy"? He could never explain. After a few months I realized, he was one of THOSE guys. A guy who uses your cycle to creep. I decided to be on my best this time. He would have no reason. House was immaculate. I made his favorite. Mood was set. I had the black BLANKET on the floor. The ice was on deck for the GOOD HEAD session. He came in started some RANDOM argument. Stormed out. He thinks I'm stupid. I was done. He can be a  B**TCH every MONTH to someone else!  Still Single

ITS SO WRONG, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT, I WANT TO F**CK MY.......

BOSS! Its the old adage. "You always want what you can't have". I think I could have him. I see the way he looks at me. When I flirt with him, he likes it. I'm not trying to break up his happy home. I think he needs SOME. I think his wife has him on a schedule. I'm trying to be available in the COPY ROOM.

He's not exactly my type. He is a nice dresser. There is just a lil "sumthin sumthin" about him. When you work with someone you are attracted to, its difficult to let them know. He's my boss. Its even worst. One day he had on this cologne! It made me crazy. After that, I just kept fantasizing about RIDING him. I KNOW I could make his toes curl. When he's talking business, I'm thinking about sitting on his face. I'm so bad. Sometimes I accidentally rub up against him. "Oh excuse me, I didn't see you standing there". I want him to feel THIS booty. I know he want to touch IT. I feel guilty sometimes. Not TODAY. Today, I just want to grab HIS ass. I often think "what if he weren't my boss"? Its just a silly fantasy. Everybody has them. But I think I'd still like to know? Do YOU ever wish you weren't my boss?
Still Single

TWO'S A STORY BUT THREE'S A

POST! Aint nobody had a threesome? I've been waiting for SOMEBODY to share. Its got to be more people who've enjoyed a good ME'NAGE TWA! Its a lot of men's fantasy. Women are starting to enjoy the fun too! I have ADD. I need several things going at once. A little 69 THREE ways! Now that's WHATS UP! There is ONE trick though? You have to find the RIGHT woman. You can't just roll up on someone and say "hey how'd you like to get down with me and my girl"? You have to be tactful, discreet. The wrong woman might not get the hint. She might just like HANGING with you and your boo!

I was dating this really fine FREAK. She was always telling me how she had never had a threesome. I was happy to accomodate. I had been with two women before. That was back in the day. I was almost 35.  I didn't know any women who was in to that. She told me she might have the right chick.  I was like BET, set it up!  We met at a club. She was cute. Body was nice. I could see the three of us getting it in. My girl was definitely feeling her. They were dancing all sexy together. After a few drinks, I was ready to leave. We got back to the crib. We decided to light up a little MARY JANE. Get everybody real nice. The clothes came off nice and slow. Everybody was touching and kissing. It was about to go DOWN! They requested some whip cream.  I only stepped away for a SECOND. When I got back, I couldn't believe what I saw. My girl was giving HER head? I guess we didn't discuss the RULES. You SUCK me. SHE licks you. Maybe the rules have changed?    Still Single

YOU SURE WE'RE DOING IT......

RIGHT? We all had to start some where. I was proud to be a virgin. Most of my friends had already done it. I wanted something different. The boy that would get my goods, would know he got a PRIZE. HE would make that moment MAGICAL. I prepared for my night. I watched movies and a little PORN. It was still very confusing. I had so many questions. Like, where did IT actually go?

I met him through a friend. I was 17. He was older. I was still a virgin. He said he wasn't. We spent long nights on the phone. He gave me that feeling. When he talked, I always felt butterflies. He was all that I could think about. We hung out a few times. I told my friends he was the ONE. I decided to give him my goodies. I was scared and anxious. I wanted to have sex with him so bad. I knew it would hurt. I thought I would feel more MATURE. Afterwards, I just felt weird. I couldn't sit down. I told my best friend. She hadn't had sex either. I told her how we did it. She said its not suppose to feel that way. I decided to ask my other girlfriend. She had done it PLENTY of times. She asked what position. I told her DOGGY STYLE. She said that's normal. I'll get used to it. I was relieved. "I was scared to take a shit". She asked me why. "Because my BUTT still hurt"! "YOUR BUTT"?!    Still Single

BUT TELL ME......WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE MY......

COUSIN?! Should it matter? If he had cheated with the waitress. If he had cheated with a co-worker. His child's mother. Shit, even if she was WHITE. I could handle it. Every relationship has a line. And YOU just crossed it.

Money was tight. He was working two jobs. I was trying to finish school. We made the best of what we had. We both came from big families. Once a month was game night. We had the games. Our family brought the food and drinks. My cousins always had man DRAMA.They would tell me how lucky I was. I THOUGHT I was too. He told me he had to work late. It was starting to become a pattern. He'd cheated on me before. He said he was stressed. We talked. I gave him a second chance. I wasn't exactly an angel. I needed to know was he cheating again. I told my cousin what I was thinking. She said I was tripping. Something just felt wrong. When he left his phone on the counter, I checked his call log.  His last few calls was from "JOE"? I decided to call  from my phone. I guess I didn't recognize the number. I had it saved under a different name, MY COUSINS.
Still Single

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED SEEING A ....

THERAPIST? Crazy is such a broad term. "NUTS" is more appropriate. She wasn't foaming at the mouth or anything. I only caught her talking to herself a few times. She claimed it was her daily affirmation? She had a regular job. She lived in a nice community. Her friends SEEMED normal. All I know is if I had a rabbit, it would probably be MISSING.

I slept with her ONE TIME! Yes it was during the snow storm. I made the mistake of "playing house". What was I suppose to do? It was getting late. By morning, it was a blizzard. After that weekend, I moved on. The first time she called, it was cool. Then she started calling EVERYDAY. Usually I try to give the hint. No call back means, GO AWAY. She didn't seem to understand. If I didn't call her back, the texting marathon ensued. I had to tell her to chill out. WRONG MOVE. One night I heard a knock at my door. When I opened the door, there was a note. The note simply said, "I will no longer be contacting you, please know that my feelings are hurt by your actions, I pray that you find what you want". I felt relieved UNTIL I saw the initials G C carved in my car door. I haven't watched FATAL ATTRACTION since.
Still Single.

THEY DON'T CALL "IT" A JOB....FOR....

NOTHING! I'm so sick of giving head. WHAT? Its a lot of work! Some men don't understand. This is a TEAM effort. You can't just DICKtate orders; "Lick right here", "Watch your teeth", "Open your mouth wider", "Can you move your tongue", "Don't suck so fast", "Oh that's it", "Slow down", "Just a little more", "Don't stop", "I'm almost there". "ALMOST"!?.......... Its been like 2 minutes?! My JAWS hurt.

He was my boyfriend for about two years. I knew he loved a good blow job. Most men do. I was always happy to oblige. It turned me on too. After about a year, I noticed something. It no longer turned me on. He would take too long to cum. I HATED the damn instructions. The subtle nudge of my head would really piss me off. Foreplay is overrated. Get to the F**CKING point! I knew he was faking with all the "ooooohhhs and ahhhhhhs". PLEASE! Our dog licked his balls one day, SAME reaction. I had to take a stand. The one eyed monster was wearing out my neck and BACK. He couldn't even get hard without a lick.  When I asked for a dick sucking VACA, he flipped. "What's the point of having a girlfriend"? True.
Still Single