CAR! When things don't go my way, I can get a little upset . I'm an only child. I don't like to share. I'm not a desperate woman. I have the RIGHT assetts. I just don't know why men continue to test me. I wouldn't cheat on me. I am THAT woman. I go through emails. I check phone logs. I snoop through pockets. DON'T lie about where you been. I really hate this side of me. SOME men just never learn.
We were dating for about 6 months. I was totally committed to him. When we first met, I had some doubts. I knew he was dating other women. He said he stopped seeing them. I believed him. There weren't any signs of him cheating, AT FIRST. Then late one night, his phone goes off. He doesn't answer. I knew at that moment what I had to do. I started monitoring his phone. I clocked his schedule. Snooped through his pockets. I knew he was cheating but I couldn't prove it. I purchased a little gadget on-line. It gave me his passwords. Just like I thought, naked pictures of some chick. He must have thought I was playing. I confronted him. He denied knowing where the pictures came from. OK. He was warned. We are still together. I really can't share any more. All I can say is, he WISHES he was STILL SINGLE.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
DID I DO SOMETHNG .......
WRONG? Communication today is difficult. The rules are always changing. The dating game is on speed. One day you feel a connection. The next day, you don't. I have good instincts when it comes to men. At least I thought I did. I'm usually one move ahead. I'm not one of those women who thinks we are more than what it is. I get it. I'm not YOUR queen. But I am not used to being a PON.
It was homecoming weekend. Everyone was partying. We literally ran into each other. He was abstract. Not that cute. No real sex appeal. It was just something. Every time we hung out, we had so much fun. Our chemistry was so on point. We loved; the same music, the same TV shows, the same restaurants. He was too good to be true. Every morning I would get a call. I absolutely LOVED his voice. I was getting used to US. It had been about 3 weeks. I was ready to take it further. We were chilling at his apartment. He was always so affectionate. I thought he was going to make a move. He didn't. We just kissed. I didn't think much of it. The next morning. He didn't call. When I tried to call him, I got his voicemail. I didn't understand. He always called in the morning. I started to wonder if something happen to him. Days went by, no call. I was really worried. Then he answered. He acted like I was tripping. It was like he was a different person. No argument. No issues. That was IT. I made up excuses to my self. "I was too much for him". "He didn't want to use me like his other women". "He's going to call and apologize". I never heard from him. I guess all relationships don't fit into the three categories. It was surely less than a season. Not even close to a lifetime. And I NEVER got the reason. Still Single
It was homecoming weekend. Everyone was partying. We literally ran into each other. He was abstract. Not that cute. No real sex appeal. It was just something. Every time we hung out, we had so much fun. Our chemistry was so on point. We loved; the same music, the same TV shows, the same restaurants. He was too good to be true. Every morning I would get a call. I absolutely LOVED his voice. I was getting used to US. It had been about 3 weeks. I was ready to take it further. We were chilling at his apartment. He was always so affectionate. I thought he was going to make a move. He didn't. We just kissed. I didn't think much of it. The next morning. He didn't call. When I tried to call him, I got his voicemail. I didn't understand. He always called in the morning. I started to wonder if something happen to him. Days went by, no call. I was really worried. Then he answered. He acted like I was tripping. It was like he was a different person. No argument. No issues. That was IT. I made up excuses to my self. "I was too much for him". "He didn't want to use me like his other women". "He's going to call and apologize". I never heard from him. I guess all relationships don't fit into the three categories. It was surely less than a season. Not even close to a lifetime. And I NEVER got the reason. Still Single
YOU LIVE WITH YOUR.....
MAMA? Times are tough for everyone. People are living check to check. Gas prices are high. Salaries are low. Our children need more from their parents, longer. The economy has us ALL on edge. People are losing their jobs and their homes. We all are making sacrafices to survive. It's not odd that a man has a roomate. It is odd when that roomate is your MAMA!
I was buying a part for my car. He cracked a joke about my 10 car freshners. We instantly hit it off . He worked downtown at a building near mine. After a few phone calls, we met for lunch. Lunch time started to become OUR time. I looked forward to seeing him everyday. We had alot in common. There was also a strong attraction. Kissing him just felt right. Some weeks went by, we were getting a little too hot and heavy for lunch. I invited him to my place. One thing led to another, we woke up the next morning in my bed. He started to hang out alot at my place. We were together everyday and night. I realized that he had never invited me to his place. I was starting to wonder. I told him I wanted see his spot. He told me that his mother was staying with him. I guess the look on my face said "why"? He proceeded to explain all the financial difficulties she was having. He really wanted to be supportive to his mom. He was a good guy. It was only a temporary situation. He's was at my house everyday anyway. A couple of months went by and I finally met his mother. She was an articulate business woman who was excited to meet me. I was a little confused. She didn't seem down on her luck. The house was a lot nicer than I expected. When he went to the restroom, his mother began thanking me for taking him off her hands. I laughed and told her "you must be tired of living with your son"? She chuckeld and said "I don't LIVE with my son, this is MY house". "I was thanking you for letting him live with you". UHHHHH..
Still Single
I was buying a part for my car. He cracked a joke about my 10 car freshners. We instantly hit it off . He worked downtown at a building near mine. After a few phone calls, we met for lunch. Lunch time started to become OUR time. I looked forward to seeing him everyday. We had alot in common. There was also a strong attraction. Kissing him just felt right. Some weeks went by, we were getting a little too hot and heavy for lunch. I invited him to my place. One thing led to another, we woke up the next morning in my bed. He started to hang out alot at my place. We were together everyday and night. I realized that he had never invited me to his place. I was starting to wonder. I told him I wanted see his spot. He told me that his mother was staying with him. I guess the look on my face said "why"? He proceeded to explain all the financial difficulties she was having. He really wanted to be supportive to his mom. He was a good guy. It was only a temporary situation. He's was at my house everyday anyway. A couple of months went by and I finally met his mother. She was an articulate business woman who was excited to meet me. I was a little confused. She didn't seem down on her luck. The house was a lot nicer than I expected. When he went to the restroom, his mother began thanking me for taking him off her hands. I laughed and told her "you must be tired of living with your son"? She chuckeld and said "I don't LIVE with my son, this is MY house". "I was thanking you for letting him live with you". UHHHHH..
Still Single
Friday, September 23, 2011
I'M GETTING MARRIED...............!!!!!!!!!!!
to the wrong person. It just seemed like the practical thing to do. We were living together. She was a good woman. She was committed to making me happy. All of my friends were getting married. My parents worried that I'm going to end up alone. I'm almost 40. I want children. I guess the CLOCK doesn't just tick for women.
We met at work. I was with someone else at the time. We became friends. After I broke up with my ex, we started dating. On our first date, she told me how she felt. I already knew. She'd been waiting for her turn. Our relationship progressed pretty fast. We went from; dating, to being committed, to living together. I realized that she was trying to be THAT woman. I allowed her to feel like she was. She cooked for me. She kept the house immaculate. If I wanted to hang out with the fellas, she was always cool. The subject of marriage often came up. I did want to be married someday. My parents have been married for over 30 years. I wanted that for myself. I actually thought I'd be married with a couple of kids by now. I was feeling some pressure. My cousin text me that my ex was getting married. It shouldn't have mattered, but it did. I couldn't let it go. A couple of months later, I was engaged. I'm currently planning my wedding. She couldn't be happier. Even though she knows. By the time you read this post, I might be married. Life is about choices. There are plenty of people who marry for the wrong reasons. I'm not. Marriage isn't always about love. I'm getting married so I won't have to be "STILL SINGLE"
We met at work. I was with someone else at the time. We became friends. After I broke up with my ex, we started dating. On our first date, she told me how she felt. I already knew. She'd been waiting for her turn. Our relationship progressed pretty fast. We went from; dating, to being committed, to living together. I realized that she was trying to be THAT woman. I allowed her to feel like she was. She cooked for me. She kept the house immaculate. If I wanted to hang out with the fellas, she was always cool. The subject of marriage often came up. I did want to be married someday. My parents have been married for over 30 years. I wanted that for myself. I actually thought I'd be married with a couple of kids by now. I was feeling some pressure. My cousin text me that my ex was getting married. It shouldn't have mattered, but it did. I couldn't let it go. A couple of months later, I was engaged. I'm currently planning my wedding. She couldn't be happier. Even though she knows. By the time you read this post, I might be married. Life is about choices. There are plenty of people who marry for the wrong reasons. I'm not. Marriage isn't always about love. I'm getting married so I won't have to be "STILL SINGLE"
Thursday, September 22, 2011
WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY.....
GUM? You know when your breath stinks. Don't you? I totally understand, you just had salmon. You don't have any breath mints handy. You just woke up. A little morning breath. I get it. But your breath ALWAYS stinks. You must be rotten inside. When is the last time you been to the dentist? Maybe you need a colonic. I don't know. But a woman THAT FINE, should not have breath that bad.
I saw her on the dance floor. I said to myself "Imma get me some of that". And I did. She seemed really cool. She was a elementary school teacher. We talked on the phone for about week. She always had a crazy story to share about her kids. We made plans to hang out. A movie and some drinks. When I picked her up, she gave me hug. She was telling me one of her stories and started to laugh. It was like a black cloud came out of her mouth. I had never smelled anything so bad. The whole night I tried to keep her quiet. She was a talker. Every time she leaned towards me, I pulled back. Didn't she know her breath stank? I decided to stop at 7-eleven. I grabbed some snacks for me and breath mints for her. I figured that would help. IT DIDN'T. We arrived at her house. She wanted a kiss good bye. I told her I don't kiss on the first date. Then handed her the box of Altoids. I hope she got the hint. Still Single
I saw her on the dance floor. I said to myself "Imma get me some of that". And I did. She seemed really cool. She was a elementary school teacher. We talked on the phone for about week. She always had a crazy story to share about her kids. We made plans to hang out. A movie and some drinks. When I picked her up, she gave me hug. She was telling me one of her stories and started to laugh. It was like a black cloud came out of her mouth. I had never smelled anything so bad. The whole night I tried to keep her quiet. She was a talker. Every time she leaned towards me, I pulled back. Didn't she know her breath stank? I decided to stop at 7-eleven. I grabbed some snacks for me and breath mints for her. I figured that would help. IT DIDN'T. We arrived at her house. She wanted a kiss good bye. I told her I don't kiss on the first date. Then handed her the box of Altoids. I hope she got the hint. Still Single
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I TEXTED YOU LAST NIGHT?...OH I TWEETED YOU......
BACK. There is a NEW language of love. Its called TECHNOLOGY. No one talks anymore. I call you. You text me. I leave you a message. You in box. I email you. You instant message me. What is going on? Relationships have become VIRTUAL. They don't seem REAL. It 's like we are ALL living in the Matrix. Neo was right. "There is no SPOON".
He FRIENDED me on Face Book. I didn't even remember who he was. We went to the same High school. I checked his STATUS. We were both single. After a couple of COMMENT exhanges, I INSTANT MESSAGED him. Our messaging became more flirty. I sent him my number. He TEXTED me the next day. I texted him back that night. He asked me to SEND him a PIC. I did. Somebody SHARED a link on my twitter page. I texted him "do you have a twitter account"? He did. I shared the link on his TIME LINE. He TWEETED me right back, "Cool"! He sent his regular "GM" text. I tweeted him right back, "@...... whats up?" Things were going well! We'd been in a relationship for about a month. He IN BOXED me "what are you doing this weekend"? I POSTED on his WALL "nothing". He wanted to HOOK UP on Friday. I instant messaged him, "what time"? He EMAILED eight o'clock. Then he sent the link to his SKYPE. I wonder what I should wear?
Still Single
He FRIENDED me on Face Book. I didn't even remember who he was. We went to the same High school. I checked his STATUS. We were both single. After a couple of COMMENT exhanges, I INSTANT MESSAGED him. Our messaging became more flirty. I sent him my number. He TEXTED me the next day. I texted him back that night. He asked me to SEND him a PIC. I did. Somebody SHARED a link on my twitter page. I texted him "do you have a twitter account"? He did. I shared the link on his TIME LINE. He TWEETED me right back, "Cool"! He sent his regular "GM" text. I tweeted him right back, "@...... whats up?" Things were going well! We'd been in a relationship for about a month. He IN BOXED me "what are you doing this weekend"? I POSTED on his WALL "nothing". He wanted to HOOK UP on Friday. I instant messaged him, "what time"? He EMAILED eight o'clock. Then he sent the link to his SKYPE. I wonder what I should wear?
Still Single
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T....
READ? We are all works in progress. Some things are more of a challenge. Nobody is perfect. We can be ashamed of our deficits. It could be health related. It could be finances. Maybe a bad decision with the law. Everyone wants to improve SOMETHING. I am no different. I'd like to grow with someone. I'm a supportive woman. I'm up for any challenge. Or am I?
I was getting gas. He pulled next to my car. I thought I looked a mess. He thought I was kinda cute. We started talking that night. He told me he had his own business. He did home improvements. Our first few dates, he fixed everything in my house. He was really good with his hands. He didn't talk very much. I figured he was shy. He was a country boy. The simple things he appreciated. I wanted to show him some city life. We made plans for dinner and a movie. My treat. I made the reservation and told him the time. When he picked me up, he asked a lot questions about the menu. I told him they had a good selection for him to choose. He kept asking what was I going to order. I finally told him. We arrived at the restaurant. He didn't look at the menu. He just ordered what I ordered. After dinner, I suggested we pick up a paper. We had to decide a movie and time. I handed him the paper. He said he didn't care. I told him it was his choice. He became frustrated and said he didn't want to go. I asked him what was wrong. He finally said, "I CAN'T READ"! I was thrown. He told me that he had dropped out of high school. He memorized most things. New items were a challenge. I wanted to help him. I wanted to say that THIS was ok. It wasn't. I know couples have to work together. I'm not asking for too much. If I'm able to pay for the meal. You should be able to READ the menu.
Still Single
I was getting gas. He pulled next to my car. I thought I looked a mess. He thought I was kinda cute. We started talking that night. He told me he had his own business. He did home improvements. Our first few dates, he fixed everything in my house. He was really good with his hands. He didn't talk very much. I figured he was shy. He was a country boy. The simple things he appreciated. I wanted to show him some city life. We made plans for dinner and a movie. My treat. I made the reservation and told him the time. When he picked me up, he asked a lot questions about the menu. I told him they had a good selection for him to choose. He kept asking what was I going to order. I finally told him. We arrived at the restaurant. He didn't look at the menu. He just ordered what I ordered. After dinner, I suggested we pick up a paper. We had to decide a movie and time. I handed him the paper. He said he didn't care. I told him it was his choice. He became frustrated and said he didn't want to go. I asked him what was wrong. He finally said, "I CAN'T READ"! I was thrown. He told me that he had dropped out of high school. He memorized most things. New items were a challenge. I wanted to help him. I wanted to say that THIS was ok. It wasn't. I know couples have to work together. I'm not asking for too much. If I'm able to pay for the meal. You should be able to READ the menu.
Still Single
Monday, September 19, 2011
OUR LOVE ISN'T TAINTED.. IT SHOULDN'T MATTER THAT SHE'S A
STRIPPER. I frequent strip clubs. Yeah I'm there for lunch. What man doesn't enjoy a good lap dance with a steak? It's relaxing. It's an escape from your reality. I watch them on stage twirling and gyrating. Its more than taking off your clothes. Its an art form. It takes skill and talent to be up on that pole. It's an honest days work. They are providing a service. Maybe you can't turn a ho into a housewife. But she's not a ho! She's a STRIPPER.
The very first time I saw her, I knew we had a connection. The place was just nasty. Men were drunk, tables were sticky and the bathrooms were filled with smoke. All around you, was TITTIES and ASS. She was different. When she got on that stage, it was like nobody else was in that room . I started tipping her more. I knew her REAL name. We would chat after her set. I knew she had two kids. She graduated from the same High School. She wasn't just a stripper. She was starting her own clothing line. I found myself liking this woman. I could tell she felt the same. When I walked in the door, she knew I was there. She would dance just for ME. I would watch her for hours sliding on the floor, touching herself. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I would jerk off thinking about her. I was falling en love with her. I wanted to be with her. I waited for the right moment to ask her out. She said when? We started dating. At first, I think I was in awe. Then reality hit. We didn't have crazy sex every night. She was always complaining. "Who are you with"? "Where have you been"? "I need some money"! She was always in the mirror, PRACTICING. She reminded me often how lucky I was. I wanted her to stop stripping. She wouldn't. She said the money was too good. I didn't understand. I was giving her EVERYTHING. What else did she want? I broke it off. I heard she was still stripping at the same spot. I guess we were both back to our REALITIES. Still Single
The very first time I saw her, I knew we had a connection. The place was just nasty. Men were drunk, tables were sticky and the bathrooms were filled with smoke. All around you, was TITTIES and ASS. She was different. When she got on that stage, it was like nobody else was in that room . I started tipping her more. I knew her REAL name. We would chat after her set. I knew she had two kids. She graduated from the same High School. She wasn't just a stripper. She was starting her own clothing line. I found myself liking this woman. I could tell she felt the same. When I walked in the door, she knew I was there. She would dance just for ME. I would watch her for hours sliding on the floor, touching herself. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I would jerk off thinking about her. I was falling en love with her. I wanted to be with her. I waited for the right moment to ask her out. She said when? We started dating. At first, I think I was in awe. Then reality hit. We didn't have crazy sex every night. She was always complaining. "Who are you with"? "Where have you been"? "I need some money"! She was always in the mirror, PRACTICING. She reminded me often how lucky I was. I wanted her to stop stripping. She wouldn't. She said the money was too good. I didn't understand. I was giving her EVERYTHING. What else did she want? I broke it off. I heard she was still stripping at the same spot. I guess we were both back to our REALITIES. Still Single
Saturday, September 17, 2011
YES SHE'S WITH .....
ME, SERIOUSLY! I see people looking. I know what they are thinking. "Why is HE with HER?" Maybe she isn't the MOST attractive person. Looks aren't everything. She's a good person. She has a great personality. I love her sense of humor. We have alot in common. WHAT? I've had plenty of beautiful girlfriends. I know my friends had me marrying a BEY ONCE type. But Seriously, THIS is my girlfriend. Why don't you believe me?
I was reading the paper at Star bucks. She mentioned an article in the metro section. We just hit it off. She wasn't exactly my type. She didn't have much of a body. She had no style. She had natural hair, which I liked. She just didn't seem to know what to do with it. She had some NICE features. Her face just, WASN'T. We'd been dating pretty serious for about 5 months. I hadn't introduced her to any of my friends or family. They can be so judgemental. I didn't want to subject her to their petty ridicule. My best friend was getting married. She over heard me talking about the rehearsal dinner. I was feeling anxious. My friends wanted to meet her. She wanted to meet them. I decided it was time. I wanted her to make a good first impression. I knew she wasn't really in to fashion. My ex used to shop at this boutique. She was always fly. I made a few suggestions on what she could wear. I had a friend who wore her hair natural but it was styled really nice. I gave her the number to the shop. The night of the event, she actually looked nice. I told her how good she looked. "They are going to love you". While we were driving, I noticed she was upset. I asked her what was wrong. She said after the dinner she wanted to go home. She didn't want to see me again. I didn't understand. We were so happy. I wasn't cheating on her. I didn't abuse her. I paid for everything. I just didn't get it. The dinner was over and we were at her house. Before she got out she asked me, "did I play the part"? "What part"? "Being HER"!
Still Single
I was reading the paper at Star bucks. She mentioned an article in the metro section. We just hit it off. She wasn't exactly my type. She didn't have much of a body. She had no style. She had natural hair, which I liked. She just didn't seem to know what to do with it. She had some NICE features. Her face just, WASN'T. We'd been dating pretty serious for about 5 months. I hadn't introduced her to any of my friends or family. They can be so judgemental. I didn't want to subject her to their petty ridicule. My best friend was getting married. She over heard me talking about the rehearsal dinner. I was feeling anxious. My friends wanted to meet her. She wanted to meet them. I decided it was time. I wanted her to make a good first impression. I knew she wasn't really in to fashion. My ex used to shop at this boutique. She was always fly. I made a few suggestions on what she could wear. I had a friend who wore her hair natural but it was styled really nice. I gave her the number to the shop. The night of the event, she actually looked nice. I told her how good she looked. "They are going to love you". While we were driving, I noticed she was upset. I asked her what was wrong. She said after the dinner she wanted to go home. She didn't want to see me again. I didn't understand. We were so happy. I wasn't cheating on her. I didn't abuse her. I paid for everything. I just didn't get it. The dinner was over and we were at her house. Before she got out she asked me, "did I play the part"? "What part"? "Being HER"!
Still Single
Thursday, September 15, 2011
ARE YOU SURE? HOW MANY DAYS HAS IT BEEN....YES...
FOOL I'M PREGNANT! I was confused. Maybe we did have a future. Maybe we didn't. I can barely take care of myself. I can't take care of another human being. I don't even like small children. Women have the right to choose. ONE decision can effect THREE lives. I never thought I would feel this way. I don't feel any connection. I don't want this baby. I'm going to have an abortion. A LIFE for a LIFE. MINE first!
We'd been messing around for years. I never thought we would be TOGETHER. He wasn't the marrying type. That night, we didn't have a condom. We did it any way. When it was time for him to pull out, he didn't. I reminded him that I WASN'T on the pill. He said "chill out, we're good". A month or so later, I was pregnant. I was actually seeing someone ELSE. This was awkward. I was embarrassed to tell anyone. I had just started a new job. Moved into a new apartment. What would people think? "Another single black woman with a BABY". I didn't want to be considered a statistic. I decided I wasn't going to have IT. I made an appointment at the clinic. I waited for his sorry ass to pick me up. He said he over slept. I made ANOTHER appointment. My girl was going to take me. They completed my exam and told me that I was further along. I didn't have enough money. I couldn't believe this sh**t. I made a third appointment. The night before, I had a dream. A baby girl was sleeping on my lap. I didn't want my life to change. I didn't know anything about children. WE would never be a couple. This was for the best. Years later, I think about that time. I know I made the right the decision. He's 17 now.
STILL SINGLE
We'd been messing around for years. I never thought we would be TOGETHER. He wasn't the marrying type. That night, we didn't have a condom. We did it any way. When it was time for him to pull out, he didn't. I reminded him that I WASN'T on the pill. He said "chill out, we're good". A month or so later, I was pregnant. I was actually seeing someone ELSE. This was awkward. I was embarrassed to tell anyone. I had just started a new job. Moved into a new apartment. What would people think? "Another single black woman with a BABY". I didn't want to be considered a statistic. I decided I wasn't going to have IT. I made an appointment at the clinic. I waited for his sorry ass to pick me up. He said he over slept. I made ANOTHER appointment. My girl was going to take me. They completed my exam and told me that I was further along. I didn't have enough money. I couldn't believe this sh**t. I made a third appointment. The night before, I had a dream. A baby girl was sleeping on my lap. I didn't want my life to change. I didn't know anything about children. WE would never be a couple. This was for the best. Years later, I think about that time. I know I made the right the decision. He's 17 now.
STILL SINGLE
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
TONIGHT ITS JUST ME AND ......
THE RABBIT! I get home. I'm alone. I want to get one off. I have NO prospects. The season has been dry. Humans have basic needs. To connect is one of them. I could wait for someone to come along. Or I could reach into my nightstand drawer. "JIMMY" has NEVER let me down.
Modern times have introduced new TOYS. My co-worker invited me to a sex toy party. I had never been to one. I've heard of all the GADGETS that women were using. Just never thought about it. The party was alot of fun. I actually learned a lot about how my clitoris works. It appears you don't really need a penis. The consistent vibration on that G spot, guarantees the big O. I NEEDED a BIG O. I bought myself a RABBIT. Seemed easy enough. The fist time I tried it, it didn't work. I guess its like having sex the first time. You need to develop a rhythm. My hand eye coordination wasn't the best. A few more trys, JIMMY and I were EN LOVE. I couldn't believe how much I came. I had never cum that much with a man. A few weeks later, I started seeing someone. He was pretty cool. We were starting to get close. He asked me when was my last relationship, "about two years ago". "I've dated off and on, nothing serious". I told him I hadn't been with a MAN in a really long time. BUT I had a little TOOL, named Jimmy, who I hooked up with. He told me he wanted to be more than a booty call. The time was right. He led me to my bedroom and started to undress me. He asked if I had any condoms. I told him to reach into my top drawer. When he felt around, he pulled out my rabbit. He asked me what it was. I said meet JIMMY! He didn't think it was sexy. Overtime, he actually became jealous. He told me to choose. You guessed it!
STILL SINGLE
Modern times have introduced new TOYS. My co-worker invited me to a sex toy party. I had never been to one. I've heard of all the GADGETS that women were using. Just never thought about it. The party was alot of fun. I actually learned a lot about how my clitoris works. It appears you don't really need a penis. The consistent vibration on that G spot, guarantees the big O. I NEEDED a BIG O. I bought myself a RABBIT. Seemed easy enough. The fist time I tried it, it didn't work. I guess its like having sex the first time. You need to develop a rhythm. My hand eye coordination wasn't the best. A few more trys, JIMMY and I were EN LOVE. I couldn't believe how much I came. I had never cum that much with a man. A few weeks later, I started seeing someone. He was pretty cool. We were starting to get close. He asked me when was my last relationship, "about two years ago". "I've dated off and on, nothing serious". I told him I hadn't been with a MAN in a really long time. BUT I had a little TOOL, named Jimmy, who I hooked up with. He told me he wanted to be more than a booty call. The time was right. He led me to my bedroom and started to undress me. He asked if I had any condoms. I told him to reach into my top drawer. When he felt around, he pulled out my rabbit. He asked me what it was. I said meet JIMMY! He didn't think it was sexy. Overtime, he actually became jealous. He told me to choose. You guessed it!
STILL SINGLE
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
SO I'VE PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT....I STILL LOOK
GOOD! The media has EVERYONE on a diet. Models are slim white women. Video VIXENS are bootylicious black women. I think I'm somewhere in between. I used to be the bomb. Cute in the face, slim in the waste. Then we started dating. I got a little comfortable. I'm beautiful at ANY size. You love ME don't you? Maybe I am PHAT, but am I still your BABY?
Having BODY, makes life easier. I LOVE looking good. He saw my BUTT before he saw my face. That was our running joke. He was a mechanic where I got my car fixed. Our chemistry was instant. I'm a girly girl. I'm all; hair, nails and make up. He was so in to me. We'd been together for almost a year. We were going strong. Looking in the mirror one day, I noticed a little more jiggle in the middle. WHATEVER. He loved my ASSETTS. Life is stressful. I didn't have as much time to get to the gym. I didn't have as much time to get my hair and nails done. Men don't have the same pressure. While getting dressed for work, he pinched my stomach. I looked at him and said "what"? He told me that I needed to get back in the gym. I was waiting for him to laugh. He didn't. He was serious. I was embarrassed. Maybe I had become a little TOO comfortable. I've never been THAT girl. I've always gotten attention for the way I looked. I decided to ignore his comments and do me. A few more months passed, my clothes weren't fitting. I noticed him acting different. I didn't want to believe. I had actually let myself go. He broke it off. Made up some excuse about needing to focus on his kids. I'm working on losing the weight. I'm doing it for me. Women just can't forget. Whatever you USED to get them, you better maintain to KEEP them.
Still Single
Having BODY, makes life easier. I LOVE looking good. He saw my BUTT before he saw my face. That was our running joke. He was a mechanic where I got my car fixed. Our chemistry was instant. I'm a girly girl. I'm all; hair, nails and make up. He was so in to me. We'd been together for almost a year. We were going strong. Looking in the mirror one day, I noticed a little more jiggle in the middle. WHATEVER. He loved my ASSETTS. Life is stressful. I didn't have as much time to get to the gym. I didn't have as much time to get my hair and nails done. Men don't have the same pressure. While getting dressed for work, he pinched my stomach. I looked at him and said "what"? He told me that I needed to get back in the gym. I was waiting for him to laugh. He didn't. He was serious. I was embarrassed. Maybe I had become a little TOO comfortable. I've never been THAT girl. I've always gotten attention for the way I looked. I decided to ignore his comments and do me. A few more months passed, my clothes weren't fitting. I noticed him acting different. I didn't want to believe. I had actually let myself go. He broke it off. Made up some excuse about needing to focus on his kids. I'm working on losing the weight. I'm doing it for me. Women just can't forget. Whatever you USED to get them, you better maintain to KEEP them.
Still Single
Monday, September 12, 2011
YOU NEED A BREAK......FROM US OR JUST
ME? Relationships are work. Sometimes you feel like you have two jobs. Three if you have children. I'm ready to make this a FT gig. He's not? He's says that he loves me. We have been talking about OUR future. We've been together for more than a year. I'm almost 35 years old. I know what I want. He's older than me. But HE needs more time. I'm tired of dating. I've been patient. He wants to make sure that I'm the one? So now you need a break? "Maybe he just needs some time before he proposes"?.... Yeah, I don't believe that either.
We've dated off and on for several years. This time it felt right. I always thought he might be the one. Even though my mother didn't. He was an established business man. I was starting a new career. We were both ambitious. He told me what he wanted in a wife. Nothing unreasonable. Dinner dates were like business deals. I was ready to enter negotiations. When you are mature adults, you should lay all of your cards on the table. I thought we were progressing. Then I received the email. It basically said he was taking a trip with some FRIENDS. He needed to clear his head. He wasn't sure where we were going? I didn't know how to respond. It was one thing to take a BREAK. It was another to take it for two weeks half around the world. I know men struggle with commitment. We have so few options. I hated waiting. He returned and as predicted, things were awkward. He told me he wanted to cool things down. "Maybe a little time apart would bring us closer". How? I was crushed. And disappointed. I wanted to call him and curse him out, but decided not. I'm a southern LADY. He's over 40 and still LOOKING. I sent him an email. Simply stated; "I don't need MORE time apart, to know we shouldn't be together". Life is too short to never be FOUND. Still single
We've dated off and on for several years. This time it felt right. I always thought he might be the one. Even though my mother didn't. He was an established business man. I was starting a new career. We were both ambitious. He told me what he wanted in a wife. Nothing unreasonable. Dinner dates were like business deals. I was ready to enter negotiations. When you are mature adults, you should lay all of your cards on the table. I thought we were progressing. Then I received the email. It basically said he was taking a trip with some FRIENDS. He needed to clear his head. He wasn't sure where we were going? I didn't know how to respond. It was one thing to take a BREAK. It was another to take it for two weeks half around the world. I know men struggle with commitment. We have so few options. I hated waiting. He returned and as predicted, things were awkward. He told me he wanted to cool things down. "Maybe a little time apart would bring us closer". How? I was crushed. And disappointed. I wanted to call him and curse him out, but decided not. I'm a southern LADY. He's over 40 and still LOOKING. I sent him an email. Simply stated; "I don't need MORE time apart, to know we shouldn't be together". Life is too short to never be FOUND. Still single
Sunday, September 11, 2011
MAYBE IM NOT NUMBER ONE, BUT WHOSE
COUNTING? Yes I have to admit I'M THE CHICK ON THE SIDE. Its never intended. It just happens. He's my old boo. He calls just to catch up. You decide to meet for lunch. He complains about his relationship. You know how it goes. At first your his counselor. Then your lovers again. I didn't want him back. Men are all the same. Why be number one? You only get hurt. Maybe I am lowering my standards. Or maybe I'm just playing it smart. Being number two has its benefits. I enjoy almost all of the amenities of WIFEY but with no fear of finding out about ME!
It was like 12 in the morning. I couldn't believe he was calling this late. I asked him where was his girlfriend? He didn't respond. We were still good friends. The conversation was innocent. We caught up and decided to have lunch. Over lunch, all he did was complain about her. I listened and tried to be optimistic. I never thought a few weeks later he'd be in MY bed. At first I felt some guilt. Then I thought, "he's not married". Our relationship became pretty routine. We talked all the time. We went out all the time. His girlfriend must have been an idiot. It was like he was my man. He acted like my man. I guess I forgot he wasn't. Out of nowhere, he called and told me that he was getting married. And he was sorry, we couldn't see each other any more. I will admit I was hurt. But I couldn't be angry. Its all apart of the game. SOME girlfriends graduate to wives. But some CHICKS never make it to mistress.
Still Single
It was like 12 in the morning. I couldn't believe he was calling this late. I asked him where was his girlfriend? He didn't respond. We were still good friends. The conversation was innocent. We caught up and decided to have lunch. Over lunch, all he did was complain about her. I listened and tried to be optimistic. I never thought a few weeks later he'd be in MY bed. At first I felt some guilt. Then I thought, "he's not married". Our relationship became pretty routine. We talked all the time. We went out all the time. His girlfriend must have been an idiot. It was like he was my man. He acted like my man. I guess I forgot he wasn't. Out of nowhere, he called and told me that he was getting married. And he was sorry, we couldn't see each other any more. I will admit I was hurt. But I couldn't be angry. Its all apart of the game. SOME girlfriends graduate to wives. But some CHICKS never make it to mistress.
Still Single
Thursday, September 8, 2011
IF THE "BITCH" FITS ........
WEAR IT! I love black women. Let me be real. I love WOMEN. I've dated outside of my race. But remain faithful to my own. I get a little tired of the "angry black woman thing". Its ridiculous. We don't have a script on how to degrade women. There are certain women who have just not been taught how to SHOW respect. I am a man of GREAT constraint. Most of us have said things we regret. I don't. Because when I call a woman a BITCH, I mean it.
Two years and she STILL doesn't know how to say THANK YOU. She was beautiful and educated. We met at a business conference. Her ambition and drive was sexy. I have dated all types of women, black white, asian, latino and OTHER. She fit some of the stereotypes. A classic Ms INDEPENDENT; bossy, opinionated, can do everything herself, I was still attracted. She motivated me. I wanted to grow with someone. She was a good soundboard. Over dinner, I shared with her my new idea. A breakfast truck, that sold NOTHING but grits. Cinnamon grits, cheese grits, grits and bacon, I had a thousand recipes. The business plan wasn't complete but she got the gist. Maybe she was PMSING, maybe she was drunk, either way she was pissing me off. Her questions were condescending, her tone was belittling. I had dealt with this for TWO years. I had enough. I told her to shut up. She just stared at me and KEPT talking. I told her to get up, so we could leave. She refused. I wanted to get out of there. I waved to the server to bring the bill. I told her this wasn't working, "maybe we should take a break"? She laughed and said she'd have another boyfriend by tomorrow. I just shook my head and got up. As I walked away, I passed yet ANOTHER angry black woman who over heard me mumble something under my breath. She asked me "who you calling a BITCH"? I wanted to say YOU Queen Latifah, but THAT BITCH wasn't for her. Still Single
Two years and she STILL doesn't know how to say THANK YOU. She was beautiful and educated. We met at a business conference. Her ambition and drive was sexy. I have dated all types of women, black white, asian, latino and OTHER. She fit some of the stereotypes. A classic Ms INDEPENDENT; bossy, opinionated, can do everything herself, I was still attracted. She motivated me. I wanted to grow with someone. She was a good soundboard. Over dinner, I shared with her my new idea. A breakfast truck, that sold NOTHING but grits. Cinnamon grits, cheese grits, grits and bacon, I had a thousand recipes. The business plan wasn't complete but she got the gist. Maybe she was PMSING, maybe she was drunk, either way she was pissing me off. Her questions were condescending, her tone was belittling. I had dealt with this for TWO years. I had enough. I told her to shut up. She just stared at me and KEPT talking. I told her to get up, so we could leave. She refused. I wanted to get out of there. I waved to the server to bring the bill. I told her this wasn't working, "maybe we should take a break"? She laughed and said she'd have another boyfriend by tomorrow. I just shook my head and got up. As I walked away, I passed yet ANOTHER angry black woman who over heard me mumble something under my breath. She asked me "who you calling a BITCH"? I wanted to say YOU Queen Latifah, but THAT BITCH wasn't for her. Still Single
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
BUT IT HURTS SOOOOOOO..
GOOD. The first time it shocks you. Then he makes the promise. Then it happens again. You want to believe him. He's always sorry afterwards. "I don't know why I make him so angry"? His RAGE frightens you. But his intensity turns you on. No one would understand. I know this is wrong. I'm ashamed that I LOVE him but more ashamed that I LOVE the PAIN.
My father used to hit my mother. I never knew why she stayed. I swore I would never be like her. I had found the ideal man. He was so kind. We were the picture perfect couple. My friends envied how he treated me. We did everything. Traveling, shopping, dining, the sky was the limit. When we made love, he was so aggressive. I loved it. Our relationship was passionate. The moment I would hit the door, we were at it. I thought he was happy. After I got a new job, things started to change. I was promoted to manager and had to work longer hours. I never knew how insecure he was. He accused me of cheating. I wasn't. One day when were arguing, he slapped me. I couldn't believe he hit me. He immediately apologized. I was dazed. When he grabbed my hair, I thought he was going to hit me again. He didn't. He kissed me and threw me on the bed. I wanted him to stop but became aroused. The sex was so intense. I was ashamed that I came. It started to become a cycle. We would fight then F**K! It was getting out of control. I had to end it. I told him he needed help. He agreed. We broke up the following week. I wish things could have been different. I just wanted him to stop beating ME up, not the P**SY. .........Still Single
My father used to hit my mother. I never knew why she stayed. I swore I would never be like her. I had found the ideal man. He was so kind. We were the picture perfect couple. My friends envied how he treated me. We did everything. Traveling, shopping, dining, the sky was the limit. When we made love, he was so aggressive. I loved it. Our relationship was passionate. The moment I would hit the door, we were at it. I thought he was happy. After I got a new job, things started to change. I was promoted to manager and had to work longer hours. I never knew how insecure he was. He accused me of cheating. I wasn't. One day when were arguing, he slapped me. I couldn't believe he hit me. He immediately apologized. I was dazed. When he grabbed my hair, I thought he was going to hit me again. He didn't. He kissed me and threw me on the bed. I wanted him to stop but became aroused. The sex was so intense. I was ashamed that I came. It started to become a cycle. We would fight then F**K! It was getting out of control. I had to end it. I told him he needed help. He agreed. We broke up the following week. I wish things could have been different. I just wanted him to stop beating ME up, not the P**SY. .........Still Single
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
GIRLS NIGHT OUT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT....
THE GIRLS. Women understand each other. Men will let you down. Your girls will ALWAYS have your back. You have a friend who lets you cry. You have a friend who will help you fight. They know EVERYTHING . But they never judge. When you don't have someone special in your life, your girls never leave your side. At least until they meet someone.
We've been friends since grade school. I can't think of a single life event without her. We've shared everything, from secrets to shoes. When I broke up with my ex, she helped me move. I was in a relationship for a minute. She'd been single forever. I was missing all the fun. She was so happy we were BOTH single. I was ready for girls night out! Happy hour was our speciality. We always arrived early. We wanted to secure a good spot at the bar. I had the hips and she had the tits. We never liked the same type of guy. While standing at the bar, I noticed this guy giving me some rhythm. He was kind of cute. I told my girl. She looked over and said "I know him". "He used to date my cousin". A few minutes later, we were ALL on the dance floor. I was having a good time. For a moment, it was a little awkward. Everytime we would get close, she would come between us. The night was winding down and I still didn't have his number. He walked us to the car. He mentioned how much fun he had. Then he just walked away. A few days later, my girl said she was going on a date. It was with the dude from the other night. She said she'd been eyeing him for awhile. I was a little pissed, "I saw him first". She snidely replied "well you never got his number". REALLY? I guess ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, don't really want to be SINGLE after all. ........Still Single (and so is she:)
We've been friends since grade school. I can't think of a single life event without her. We've shared everything, from secrets to shoes. When I broke up with my ex, she helped me move. I was in a relationship for a minute. She'd been single forever. I was missing all the fun. She was so happy we were BOTH single. I was ready for girls night out! Happy hour was our speciality. We always arrived early. We wanted to secure a good spot at the bar. I had the hips and she had the tits. We never liked the same type of guy. While standing at the bar, I noticed this guy giving me some rhythm. He was kind of cute. I told my girl. She looked over and said "I know him". "He used to date my cousin". A few minutes later, we were ALL on the dance floor. I was having a good time. For a moment, it was a little awkward. Everytime we would get close, she would come between us. The night was winding down and I still didn't have his number. He walked us to the car. He mentioned how much fun he had. Then he just walked away. A few days later, my girl said she was going on a date. It was with the dude from the other night. She said she'd been eyeing him for awhile. I was a little pissed, "I saw him first". She snidely replied "well you never got his number". REALLY? I guess ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, don't really want to be SINGLE after all. ........Still Single (and so is she:)
Monday, September 5, 2011
WAIT A MINUTE IS MY WALLET.......
missing? Everyone handles stress different. We are all so busy. Doctors are often only seen when somethings wrong. We don't know how to take care of ourselves. Alcohol, cigarettes and sex are quick fixes. Some even find an escape in food. Maybe I did notice him having too many drinks. Maybe I did notice him smoking too many cigarettes. But does that mean I'm dating an addict? OF COURSE NOT. But has anybody seen my toaster?
He was a former co-worker. One day I saw him at the mall. We exchanged numbers and had our first date. The relationship took off pretty fast. Although he had been through a very nasty divorce, he was ready to be in another relationship. I enjoyed his company. He was very sweet. We were together all the time. I wasn't used to that much attention. It was nice. He would often talk about his financial struggles. He had two children and was behind with his mortgage. When we were together, I wanted it to be like an escape. I noticed he enjoyed his alcohol. Sometimes he was too drunk to drive home. He was stressed. As time went on, his drinking turned to chain smoking. I encouraged him to not drink or smoke. He said he had it under control. I started to notice his clingyness. He wanted to have sex all of the time. If I appeared even a little upset, he'd immediately make things better. His behavior was becoming more erratic. He would show up at my house unannounced and disoriented. I wanted him to get some help. He swore he would stop drinking and start using the patch. Things seemed to get better. He was less moody and more optimistic. He started working out and eating better. He was like the energizer bunny. A few months passed, I realized he NEVER slept. He was ALWAYS at the gym. He had found a new addiction. I had enough and called it quits. A week later my home was broken in to and my TV was stolen. Dammit! I knew CRACK was next. Still Single
He was a former co-worker. One day I saw him at the mall. We exchanged numbers and had our first date. The relationship took off pretty fast. Although he had been through a very nasty divorce, he was ready to be in another relationship. I enjoyed his company. He was very sweet. We were together all the time. I wasn't used to that much attention. It was nice. He would often talk about his financial struggles. He had two children and was behind with his mortgage. When we were together, I wanted it to be like an escape. I noticed he enjoyed his alcohol. Sometimes he was too drunk to drive home. He was stressed. As time went on, his drinking turned to chain smoking. I encouraged him to not drink or smoke. He said he had it under control. I started to notice his clingyness. He wanted to have sex all of the time. If I appeared even a little upset, he'd immediately make things better. His behavior was becoming more erratic. He would show up at my house unannounced and disoriented. I wanted him to get some help. He swore he would stop drinking and start using the patch. Things seemed to get better. He was less moody and more optimistic. He started working out and eating better. He was like the energizer bunny. A few months passed, I realized he NEVER slept. He was ALWAYS at the gym. He had found a new addiction. I had enough and called it quits. A week later my home was broken in to and my TV was stolen. Dammit! I knew CRACK was next. Still Single
Friday, September 2, 2011
BIRDS OF A FEATHER ALMOST ALWAYS....
flock together. I thought when we met that this was it. He was everything that I was looking for. I knew his family and he knew mine. We shared the same interests and we had the same dreams. It didn't hurt that the SEX was off da hook! Things took off really fast but there was one thing? His FAMILY was just a little........
He lived in another city. We managed to make time for each other. He came to see me for my birthday and we hung out all weekend. When I went to see him, we would often hang around his family. Yes they were a little ghetto. But they were also really nice. I thought to myself "I have to be OPEN to different experiences". So what if his family seemed to drink too much. It also shouldn't matter that they always seemed to have a HUGE supply of WEED. So what if his friends seemed a little suspect and nobody had a JOB. You're not suppose to judge a man by his family and friends. He was different. Unlike his friends he had a job. He seemed really stable. He had two kids and was taking care of them, at least I thought. One day I received an anonymous email. The email said; he had six kids, bad credit, and several outstanding warrants. My mind was racing. When I brought this to his attention, he tried to say it was probably one of my old flings sending lies to break us up. I was stuck on STUPID. I started racking my brain trying to figure out who could it be. It was his ex. She hacked into his email and stole my address. Needless to say; he did have six kids in several states, several outstanding warrants for unpaid child support, bad credit, and had been living with this woman for TEN YEARS. I was right about one thing. He was different from his friends. They were honest.
Still single.......
Still single.......
Thursday, September 1, 2011
"IM JUST SAYING YOU COULD DO.....
BETTER"! I knew he was cheating. I honestly didn’t care. I was exhausted with trying. All relationships have challenges. We had invested almost five years. Our families were involved. We had talked about marriage. I told myself “things will get better”. When it didn't, WE didn't know what to do. So we did what no man or woman should ever do, stay in a bad relationship because your scared to leave. I really wanted this to work. I NEEDED this to work. I just couldn’t walk away. Something had to give. What do you do when the man that you are with is no longer the man that you love?
After the accident, he was different. He wasn't motivated to find work or even take a bath. I was holding down the household and all of the bills. I loved him. I knew he was depressed but he didn't want to admit it. I believed in him. I just couldn’t leave him when he was down. I was working more hours and spending less time at home. I noticed his distance. I’m sure he could feel mine. I was drained. I had nothing left. I started to hang out more with my girls. He started to hang out more with his friends. EVERYONE could see what was happening. I knew I deserved better. Even his best friend told me that I should move on. Things just kept getting worst. He no longer had a cell phone, so he was using mine. One day I was reviewing my bill and noticed the same number at odd times. Not at all surprised, I just called her. She told me that it started as a friendship but later became sexual. We talked for hours. I learned that she had been in my car. I learned that she had been in my home. He wasn't JUST f*cking this woman. They had become more. I thought I would be shattered. I thought I would feel betrayed. I thought……. "this lying M**her F**ker had better get out of my house"! I took a deep breath and regained my composure. She apologized and actually seemed sincere. She said that he told her that we had been over.
Actually that was true……….Still Single.
After the accident, he was different. He wasn't motivated to find work or even take a bath. I was holding down the household and all of the bills. I loved him. I knew he was depressed but he didn't want to admit it. I believed in him. I just couldn’t leave him when he was down. I was working more hours and spending less time at home. I noticed his distance. I’m sure he could feel mine. I was drained. I had nothing left. I started to hang out more with my girls. He started to hang out more with his friends. EVERYONE could see what was happening. I knew I deserved better. Even his best friend told me that I should move on. Things just kept getting worst. He no longer had a cell phone, so he was using mine. One day I was reviewing my bill and noticed the same number at odd times. Not at all surprised, I just called her. She told me that it started as a friendship but later became sexual. We talked for hours. I learned that she had been in my car. I learned that she had been in my home. He wasn't JUST f*cking this woman. They had become more. I thought I would be shattered. I thought I would feel betrayed. I thought……. "this lying M**her F**ker had better get out of my house"! I took a deep breath and regained my composure. She apologized and actually seemed sincere. She said that he told her that we had been over.
Actually that was true……….Still Single.
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