ME, SERIOUSLY! I see people looking. I know what they are thinking. "Why is HE with HER?" Maybe she isn't the MOST attractive person. Looks aren't everything. She's a good person. She has a great personality. I love her sense of humor. We have alot in common. WHAT? I've had plenty of beautiful girlfriends. I know my friends had me marrying a BEY ONCE type. But Seriously, THIS is my girlfriend. Why don't you believe me?
I was reading the paper at Star bucks. She mentioned an article in the metro section. We just hit it off. She wasn't exactly my type. She didn't have much of a body. She had no style. She had natural hair, which I liked. She just didn't seem to know what to do with it. She had some NICE features. Her face just, WASN'T. We'd been dating pretty serious for about 5 months. I hadn't introduced her to any of my friends or family. They can be so judgemental. I didn't want to subject her to their petty ridicule. My best friend was getting married. She over heard me talking about the rehearsal dinner. I was feeling anxious. My friends wanted to meet her. She wanted to meet them. I decided it was time. I wanted her to make a good first impression. I knew she wasn't really in to fashion. My ex used to shop at this boutique. She was always fly. I made a few suggestions on what she could wear. I had a friend who wore her hair natural but it was styled really nice. I gave her the number to the shop. The night of the event, she actually looked nice. I told her how good she looked. "They are going to love you". While we were driving, I noticed she was upset. I asked her what was wrong. She said after the dinner she wanted to go home. She didn't want to see me again. I didn't understand. We were so happy. I wasn't cheating on her. I didn't abuse her. I paid for everything. I just didn't get it. The dinner was over and we were at her house. Before she got out she asked me, "did I play the part"? "What part"? "Being HER"!
Still Single
DEEP!
ReplyDeleteSad situation & I feel his pain bc Ive been in similar situations were the lady has issues that she has never gotten over so it caused us to not grow.
ReplyDelete@Morrocco i don't think it was HER who had the issues?
ReplyDelete@ReallyRead I can see that now as I read it again but I think he had good in his heart
ReplyDeleteRENT "White Palace" (James Spader & Susan Saradon). Spader is a yuppie who falls in love with Sarandon, who is older and a waitress. Same scenario as the writer: He's invited to a wedding, his friends want to meet his "secret" girlfriend, but he's afraid that she doesn't match up the the image of his deceased wife. Sarandon has issues, too, but is wise enough to know that until Spader releases the idealized memory of his deceased wife, their relationship is DOA. She leaves. Spader realizes that, despite her flaws and what others may think, his life was empty without her. They have a happy ending. DEAR STILL SINGLE: Even Beyonce ain't Beyonce. If you want a high maintenance woman, then be willing to finance your Dreamgirl on an ongoing basis. "No romance without finance!"
ReplyDeleteYep, that's a deep one! So he liked her one on one but didn't think she look good enough for his friends! Brings back memories of the ex husband who often said "you'll look good in this" much too many times! And it's so easy to get caught up in the other person's issues when you're into that person more than loving yourself! The sad thing about this story is that he didn't have a clue and thought he was doing her a favor. I guess she tried to go along for as long as she could and then let him have it! Good for her! And I hope one day he gets it! If he wanted "eye candy" and she didn't fit the role, why bother?
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting story; And the responses are even more interesting. It is my feeling that his intentions were not to "change" her or disguise her. Meeting family and close friends is a progression in any relationships. Most of us have at some point been in a situation where we wanted to make the best impression in front of the people in our lives that matter the most. Although he took a very unconventional approach, i don't think that approach was an indicator of a desire to masquerade his girlfriend. If she felt like she was appeasing a pseudo-aesthetic, then she should have communicated that. Woman are masters at making it blatant their distaste for their guys appearance. They will break u down from your coat to your drawers, lol. and more often then not, we heed to their suggestions. But often woman who don't heed to advice, suggestion, or direction from men already have been pre-exposed to believing that their appearance is not good enough and they typically react before they communicate. Its 1 thing if he hounded her about her appearance; its another thing if he wanted to make the best impression for the occasion. In short, he witnessed first hand, the residual effects of a women's underlying personal issues.
ReplyDeleteSounds like she didn't liking dressing up or being a girly girl. Based on the information which you provided, it sounds like she didn't focus too much on the outward appearance like some of us. And that's cool b/c that is her. If it wasn't a big deal, you would have let her dress herself vice having a "Pretty Woman" moment. You can't change a man...well, you can't change a women either.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately beauty IS important. It shows what you feel like inside, mentally and physically. I don't know the girl but it sounds like she may have needed a bit of help, and he tried to do so. I had a moment of insecurity overs ome things and I will tell you I let myself go! I didn't take time to fix myself up and show how I felt inside outward! I used to make excuses "men just dont like natural hair" "this is how it is supposed to look!" or "he better like me for who I am" and then came the moment I looked myself in the mirror, and couldn't look for long. Once I got real with myself, I began to take special time out to style, comb or moisturize my natural hair, which maded it look a lot more kempt and styled. I took an extra 5 minutes to find clothing in my closet that flattered my shape. I got accessories that enhanced my looks...and once I got REAL with myself, I got a lot more, positive attention and people wanting to be around me and didnt mind saying they were with me...because my attitude and confidence showed up!
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