ME TOO! It was so hard to understand. He made it seem like it was ok. I never told anyone. I was only a teenager. I hadn't even seen a man naked before. My father was in jail. I tried to avoid his comments. I tried to avoid his help. It became such an everyday thing. I thought he would get over it. I thought he would stop. I never wanted his attention. I never thought my first sexual encounter would be so terrible. I also thought it wouldn't be with my MOTHERS MAN.
I developed pretty fast as a girl. Beyonce' made being "bootylicious" a real word. I've always hated the attention I got for my body. I wasn't looking to get involved. We knew each other for years. He was like my male best friend. One day he told me he wanted to be with me. I had so many failed relationships. I knew he would be good to me. He was the perfect boyfriend. He was supportive. He listened. He didn't want ANYTHING from me. I never trusted any of my boyfriends. Men would always approach me because of the way I looked. I was actually insecure. He was different. He didn't treat me like an object. I still avoided being intimate. He was totally understanding. It was just hard for me to be open. I hadn't really dealt with my past. Every time a man was nice to me, I thought he had other intentions. He noticed my distance. I couldn't really explain it. I wanted to be happy. I just didn't know how. I decided I needed to deal with me. I broke it off. I have never told my mother what happened. I've always wondered if she knew. I'm still in therapy today. Its not always something funny. I hope my story helps to explain why some people SHOULD be.......Still Single
"Well I used to pull you pigtails
ReplyDeleteAnd pinch your turned-up nose
But you been a growin'
And baby it's showin'
From your head down to your toes."
CALL FOR ACTION To ALL MATURE WOMEN: STOP the competition between ourselves and our young daughters, nieces and neighbors. It is up to US to protect them. If not, we are enabling child predators (and that's exactly what this demonic man was) to continue damaging our young women and thus our futures. We have ALL been hit on my older men, especially during puberty. We must give our young sisters the tools to deal with these situations. Tell them your stories. Let them know that you are their allies, not their enemies. Still Single: Forgive yourself. You will heal. You are not alone.
Powerful!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post. Another CALL FOR ACTION: Women STOP bringing home every man you meet! STOP asking your daughter what she thinks of him when you do bring them home. STOP "calling your daughter out" when she starts to develop, it isn't cute! Believe me, some hideous man is watching to see how you treat your little girl.