TRIX ARE FOR KIDS AND SO ARE......

SLEEPOVERS? I'm a grown  f**cking MAN. I make my own money. I have my own car. I live in my OWN home. I'm happily single. I enjoy the company of a nice woman. I'm OPEN. At the beginning of any GOOD relationship, the aim is to BONE. Lets be mature about this. All those late night talks are for a reason. And the reason is.....ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS!

We met at an industry party. A mutual friend introduce us. She was kinda cute. Her conversation kept me interested. She was only in town for the weekend. After we exchanged numbers, we started talking almost everyday. I liked her vibe. Educated and well traveled. We had been kicking it (by phone) for over a month. The plan was set. She was coming in town for the holidays. I'm not pressed for some ass. I'm not turning none down either. I told her she could stay at my crib. I tided up the spot. I put some fresh linen on the bed and got wood for the fire place. She came through. We hadn't seen each other in a minute. A few glasses of wine and some catch up, it was time to get it in. She wanted to take a shower. I got in the bed and waited. She seemed to have got lost. I went to go check on her. She was asleep in the guest room. Maybe I'm stupid. Maybe I missed something. Or maybe she didn't read the handbook. Rule #5: If you travel more than 50 miles and plan to spend the night, we SMASHING! The next morning, I told her I needed to be somewhere. Translation, GET OUT!
SO Single

YOU HAVE THE RING.....ISN'T THAT

ENOUGH? I'll admit, I broke a lot of hearts. I was NEVER a one woman man. One day it hit me. I was ready to build my legacy. I couldn't do it alone. I had to choose a wife. There were plenty who claimed they could. There was only ONE other I considered. I knew SHE would never give up everything.  And that's how I wanted it. I decided to give HER the ring. I thought she'd help me to be a better man. I thought I wanted a woman whose life revolved around mine. I thought I would be happier. I THINK I made the wrong decision.

After 10 years of marriage, we could have been characters on a reality show. With my successful career and her building our legacy, we were the definition of a POWER couple. I never had any regrets. She was exactly what I wanted. A woman who would MANAGE our family. Every couple has their problems. We were know different. We both had extensive pasts. I never lied to her. She knew about them ALL. I figured it would make her feel more secure. I chose YOU. When I came home one night, she seemed to have an attitude. I finally asked her. It led into the craziest argument. She had found an email from an ex. She demanded to know why we were still in touch. I couldn't believe how angry she was. The email was a simple exchange about the holidays. It was nothing. I told her that she needed to calm down. I started to walk away.  She threw something at my head. I told her I was leaving. She followed me to my car. I told her to go back in the house. She was embarrassing herself. I started my car. She grabbed a golf club and broke my window. I thought I had done right this time. She was suppose to be that woman who knew exactly what I wanted. I'm starting to wonder about my marriage. All of this over an email? I never underestimated my wife. She does know me best. Maybe she knows too much? Maybe she knows that I married the woman I CHOSE but I didn't marry the woman I LOVED.  Still Not Sure

BUT YOU SAID THAT YOU LOVE ME....

OR DID YOU?  We've been together for a minute. I'm your woman and you're my man. You tell me how different I am. How you have never met anyone like me.  Our relationship is flourishing. Its a logical expectation. If  I say I love you, shouldn't YOU say it back?

No life altering event. We just clicked. He was the kind of man who made everything seem ok. I'd been in other serious relationships. This one felt different. We were together all the time. He'd met all my friends. Attended every family function. Everyone always said the same. He was special. I was practically living with him. It just felt right. One night, we were messing around on the bed. I was straddling over top him. He grabbed my face. He looked directly in my eyes and kissed me. It was the perfect time to say IT. I just knew he felt the same. I went with the moment. I put aside all my insecurities and told him. "I LOVE YOU". After the words rolled out, I waited for him to say it back. It felt like an eternity. I had almost given up. Then I heard him mumble, "DITTO". It wasn't the most romantic response. It was better than silence. I guess? Still Single

WHOOPS, I DIDN'T MEAN TO TEXT.........

YOU?  Technology is advancing so fast. Everyday there is a new app or device. You can communicate in so many different ways. Small children no longer want ELMO. They want IPADS. If you use modern technology correctly, you can get a lot done. I can email a report to my boss while updating my status on Face Book. With all of these advances, how in the world could I send a text to the wrong person? I really need a SMARTER phone. A phone that can tell me "YOU HAVE JUST F**CKED UP"!

He's a great guy. We dated a few times in college. We reconnected through a mutual friend. I wouldn't say he was "the one". We were pretty serious. Our schedules didn't always align. We managed through smart devices. I am the QUEEN of multi-tasking. He was leaving for business in Atlanta. His job required him to travel a lot. It really wasn't a big deal. We only saw each other on the weekend. When he was away, we did a lot of SEXTING. He loved my alter eago. SAMANTHA! One night, I sent my slutty ringmaster pic. He responded "Love this one babe". I responded "I'm already naked, don't forget the whip cream". I guess it took him a minute to realize. He called. I didn't understand. Why was he so PISSED? Then he said, "whose the whip cream for?" I checked my phone. I sent him the wrong text. I tried to get out of it. He wasn't buying my excuses.  He was yelling on the phone how much I had hurt him. I didn't know what to say. While he was breaking up with me, I got a Face book notification. He changed his status to SINGLE.  TOUCHE'.
Still Single

THROUGH SICKNESS AND in HEALTH, OR UNTIL AIDS KILLS US...

ALL! What are you doing? Why would you consider having casual UNPROTECTED sex in 2011? You  think its not true? You think it could NEVER happen to you? Here are the facts. In 2009 the CDC reported the new cases of HIV infection in 40 states. Asian reported cases: 470. White reported cases: 11, 803. Black reported cases: 21, 652. Don't be naive. KNOW your status and HIS too!

The day started off so simple. My boyfriend of a year was out of town because his mother was gravely ill. She suffered a seizure at work and lapsed into a coma. We communicated by text all day about her worsening condition. Then all of a sudden the text stopped and I got worried. Thinking the worse, I decided to call his mother’s home. I was hoping that one of his relatives could update me. Surprise! His MOTHER answered the phone. I thought "Praise God—she was fully recovered and out of that coma". I knew God was in the healing business. This was truly a miracle.  Or better yet, a crazy lie for him to tell. I asked to speak with him. His mother said he was at the hospital getting his blood work done. Blood work? She calmly explained that he is on Atripla. I quickly googled Atripla and found out that its a medication prescribed for people with HIV. The medicine has to be monitored very closely. When I confronted him, I found out that he had been HIV positive for 5 years. He didn’t feel the need to tell me because his viral load is undetectable. I didn't know what to say. All I could think was "I'm going to die"! Three months and 2 HIV tests later, I still don't know. I Love so HARD! I just never thought to DEATH!—STILL Single.

SINCE MUSLIMS DON'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, I WONDER IF THEY AT LEAST EAT

COOCH? Dating someone of a different faith can be challenging. Especially around the holidays. I've always been open with my dating. I don't want to eliminate a good option. There is just so much to learn.  "Do they eat chicken"? "Or is it Pork they don't eat"? "What if you are driving during prayer time"? "Do you stop?" "Can you be around a Christmas Tree?" "Or is that a sin"? And speaking of SINS? I know I may seem stupid, but this is important. These are serious concerns. I LOVE Christmas! I could consider losing Santa for the RIGHT guy. But MY right guy eats cooch!

I was studying for a test at the library. He sat near me. Very distinguished. You might even call him REGAL. It was something different about him. We ended up chatting about an article. I could feel our attraction. We exchanged numbers and went out that weekend. He told me that he was a Muslim. Very committed to his faith. I had a few friends that were Muslims. I never dated one. There are a lot of stereotypes about Muslim men. He didn't really fit any of them. We really hit it off! Christmas was approaching. It was already clear. He didn't celebrate. I was ok with not receiving a gift. I was going home for the holidays.  Before I left, we planned a very romantic weekend. I still didn't know. TONIGHT I figured, he will just keep kissing DOWN. It was about to be on! "I WAS getting a gift after all"! He was touching and licking all over me. When he got to my navel, he stopped and came back up. I was pissed!  I'd DONE him. I needed to know.  "Do you eat COOCH or not"?  He said in a very obnoxious tone, "NO, ITS AGAINST MY RELIGION".  "Well so is F**CKING, but you don't seem to have a problem with that?"        Still Single     

ALERT ALERT! IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN INVITED TO THANKSGIVING CHANCES ARE....

YOU'RE NOT MAKING IT TO CHRISTMAS! Holidays bring about more than CHEER. It offers you the opportunity to check relationship status. Spring and Summer dating don't count. You have to make it through Fall and Winter. The FAMILY season. The "boo its cold lets snuggle" season. The "what should WE get my parents" season. The "everybody knows you at my office Christmas party" season. The "if you are not invited to Thanksgiving you must NOT be serious" SEASON!

We met at the GOOD OLE CLASSICS. He could dance his ass off! I love men with rhythm. We instantly hit it off. He was a PG POLICE OFFICER. I was a criminal justice major. There was lots to talk about. He even took me on a police chase in his cruiser. Things seemed to be going well. We both still lived at home. He met my parents. After a couple of months, I noticed I never met his. He claimed that his mom was always busy. I never even went upstairs. I would always go through the basement. It was getting close to Thanksgiving. He told me that ALL of his family was coming over. I waited for my invitation. He finally said "you should meet the FAM". I told my girls I got the invite. We must be SERIOUS. The plan was set. My car was in the shop. He would pick me up around one. Thanksgiving day was here. My family left to go over to my aunt's. I waited for him to call. It was going on two. When I called him, he didn't answer. I couldn't believe it. "Im being STOOD UP on THANKSGIVING"?! A few days later, I heard what happen. He'd gotten back with his ex. She was WAY taller than me. He probably couldn't exchange her Christmans gift. She won't make it to Valentines Day.  
Still Single

HES NOT TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE...HES JUST TOO GOOD 4....

YOU! I thought the "I want a bad boy" days was over? Women are still IGNORING good men? What's up with that? So you want him to cheat on you? Oh he needs to be more UN available? I got it, he should be BROKE? A bunch of kids and their mama's is what turns YOU on?  If rough necks are still in, I am definitely OUT.

I met her on line. She actually approached me. I get hit on ALL the time. I'm not a bad looking guy. I have little SWAGGER. She seemed nice. We decided to meet for dinner. I will admit, I'm a little shy. It takes me a minute to warm up. I did. We laughed and talked about all types of things. Both of us loved traveling and the water. We had quite a few things in common. I was feeling a connection. She talked about all of the horrible men she had been meeting. I let her vent. She had dealt with a man who cheated. Another dude had lied about his education. She even dated someone who had NEVER lived on his own. I was NOTHING like that. I'm a lead consultant at an IT firm. I own my own home. I also have an investment property. Never been married. No kids. I thought the date went well. When I tried to call her the next day, no response. I figured I would send a text. No response. A few days later, she text me back. "sorry but you are not really my type, take care".  I sent this story to offer some advice. Maybe I don't have that EDGE. Yeah I'm a GOOD GUY. But I'M no longer single. Continue to look for your BAD BOY. And YOU will always be......"STILL SINGLE"

SO IM ON MY PERIOD.....

NOW WHAT? Its called a PERIOD for a reason. It only lasts a few days. Okay, maybe I'm not in the best of moods. Women have SO many changes. Men just don't get it. It's hormonal. The life cycle begins and ENDS with us. Its not an excuse for you to cut up. "Oh she on her period, I'm going out". NO! GROW UP. ITS A PERIOD not a SENTENCE!

I think I started my period when I was nine. Womanhood began. When your girl, its just a mess. As a teenager, you are a ITCH. As a WOMAN, I'm CRAZY. Every time my period came, he went ghost. I noticed his distance. I decided to bring it up. He blamed me. "You trip every month, SAME time". "UHHHH?". I'm still going to work. I'm still fixing dinner. I'm still down for sex. BLACK TOWEL AND ALL! "What am I doing that's SO crazy"? He could never explain. After a few months I realized, he was one of THOSE guys. A guy who uses your cycle to creep. I decided to be on my best this time. He would have no reason. House was immaculate. I made his favorite. Mood was set. I had the black BLANKET on the floor. The ice was on deck for the GOOD HEAD session. He came in started some RANDOM argument. Stormed out. He thinks I'm stupid. I was done. He can be a  B**TCH every MONTH to someone else!  Still Single

ITS SO WRONG, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT, I WANT TO F**CK MY.......

BOSS! Its the old adage. "You always want what you can't have". I think I could have him. I see the way he looks at me. When I flirt with him, he likes it. I'm not trying to break up his happy home. I think he needs SOME. I think his wife has him on a schedule. I'm trying to be available in the COPY ROOM.

He's not exactly my type. He is a nice dresser. There is just a lil "sumthin sumthin" about him. When you work with someone you are attracted to, its difficult to let them know. He's my boss. Its even worst. One day he had on this cologne! It made me crazy. After that, I just kept fantasizing about RIDING him. I KNOW I could make his toes curl. When he's talking business, I'm thinking about sitting on his face. I'm so bad. Sometimes I accidentally rub up against him. "Oh excuse me, I didn't see you standing there". I want him to feel THIS booty. I know he want to touch IT. I feel guilty sometimes. Not TODAY. Today, I just want to grab HIS ass. I often think "what if he weren't my boss"? Its just a silly fantasy. Everybody has them. But I think I'd still like to know? Do YOU ever wish you weren't my boss?
Still Single

TWO'S A STORY BUT THREE'S A

POST! Aint nobody had a threesome? I've been waiting for SOMEBODY to share. Its got to be more people who've enjoyed a good ME'NAGE TWA! Its a lot of men's fantasy. Women are starting to enjoy the fun too! I have ADD. I need several things going at once. A little 69 THREE ways! Now that's WHATS UP! There is ONE trick though? You have to find the RIGHT woman. You can't just roll up on someone and say "hey how'd you like to get down with me and my girl"? You have to be tactful, discreet. The wrong woman might not get the hint. She might just like HANGING with you and your boo!

I was dating this really fine FREAK. She was always telling me how she had never had a threesome. I was happy to accomodate. I had been with two women before. That was back in the day. I was almost 35.  I didn't know any women who was in to that. She told me she might have the right chick.  I was like BET, set it up!  We met at a club. She was cute. Body was nice. I could see the three of us getting it in. My girl was definitely feeling her. They were dancing all sexy together. After a few drinks, I was ready to leave. We got back to the crib. We decided to light up a little MARY JANE. Get everybody real nice. The clothes came off nice and slow. Everybody was touching and kissing. It was about to go DOWN! They requested some whip cream.  I only stepped away for a SECOND. When I got back, I couldn't believe what I saw. My girl was giving HER head? I guess we didn't discuss the RULES. You SUCK me. SHE licks you. Maybe the rules have changed?    Still Single

YOU SURE WE'RE DOING IT......

RIGHT? We all had to start some where. I was proud to be a virgin. Most of my friends had already done it. I wanted something different. The boy that would get my goods, would know he got a PRIZE. HE would make that moment MAGICAL. I prepared for my night. I watched movies and a little PORN. It was still very confusing. I had so many questions. Like, where did IT actually go?

I met him through a friend. I was 17. He was older. I was still a virgin. He said he wasn't. We spent long nights on the phone. He gave me that feeling. When he talked, I always felt butterflies. He was all that I could think about. We hung out a few times. I told my friends he was the ONE. I decided to give him my goodies. I was scared and anxious. I wanted to have sex with him so bad. I knew it would hurt. I thought I would feel more MATURE. Afterwards, I just felt weird. I couldn't sit down. I told my best friend. She hadn't had sex either. I told her how we did it. She said its not suppose to feel that way. I decided to ask my other girlfriend. She had done it PLENTY of times. She asked what position. I told her DOGGY STYLE. She said that's normal. I'll get used to it. I was relieved. "I was scared to take a shit". She asked me why. "Because my BUTT still hurt"! "YOUR BUTT"?!    Still Single

BUT TELL ME......WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE MY......

COUSIN?! Should it matter? If he had cheated with the waitress. If he had cheated with a co-worker. His child's mother. Shit, even if she was WHITE. I could handle it. Every relationship has a line. And YOU just crossed it.

Money was tight. He was working two jobs. I was trying to finish school. We made the best of what we had. We both came from big families. Once a month was game night. We had the games. Our family brought the food and drinks. My cousins always had man DRAMA.They would tell me how lucky I was. I THOUGHT I was too. He told me he had to work late. It was starting to become a pattern. He'd cheated on me before. He said he was stressed. We talked. I gave him a second chance. I wasn't exactly an angel. I needed to know was he cheating again. I told my cousin what I was thinking. She said I was tripping. Something just felt wrong. When he left his phone on the counter, I checked his call log.  His last few calls was from "JOE"? I decided to call  from my phone. I guess I didn't recognize the number. I had it saved under a different name, MY COUSINS.
Still Single

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED SEEING A ....

THERAPIST? Crazy is such a broad term. "NUTS" is more appropriate. She wasn't foaming at the mouth or anything. I only caught her talking to herself a few times. She claimed it was her daily affirmation? She had a regular job. She lived in a nice community. Her friends SEEMED normal. All I know is if I had a rabbit, it would probably be MISSING.

I slept with her ONE TIME! Yes it was during the snow storm. I made the mistake of "playing house". What was I suppose to do? It was getting late. By morning, it was a blizzard. After that weekend, I moved on. The first time she called, it was cool. Then she started calling EVERYDAY. Usually I try to give the hint. No call back means, GO AWAY. She didn't seem to understand. If I didn't call her back, the texting marathon ensued. I had to tell her to chill out. WRONG MOVE. One night I heard a knock at my door. When I opened the door, there was a note. The note simply said, "I will no longer be contacting you, please know that my feelings are hurt by your actions, I pray that you find what you want". I felt relieved UNTIL I saw the initials G C carved in my car door. I haven't watched FATAL ATTRACTION since.
Still Single.

THEY DON'T CALL "IT" A JOB....FOR....

NOTHING! I'm so sick of giving head. WHAT? Its a lot of work! Some men don't understand. This is a TEAM effort. You can't just DICKtate orders; "Lick right here", "Watch your teeth", "Open your mouth wider", "Can you move your tongue", "Don't suck so fast", "Oh that's it", "Slow down", "Just a little more", "Don't stop", "I'm almost there". "ALMOST"!?.......... Its been like 2 minutes?! My JAWS hurt.

He was my boyfriend for about two years. I knew he loved a good blow job. Most men do. I was always happy to oblige. It turned me on too. After about a year, I noticed something. It no longer turned me on. He would take too long to cum. I HATED the damn instructions. The subtle nudge of my head would really piss me off. Foreplay is overrated. Get to the F**CKING point! I knew he was faking with all the "ooooohhhs and ahhhhhhs". PLEASE! Our dog licked his balls one day, SAME reaction. I had to take a stand. The one eyed monster was wearing out my neck and BACK. He couldn't even get hard without a lick.  When I asked for a dick sucking VACA, he flipped. "What's the point of having a girlfriend"? True.
Still Single

TO BE OR NOT TO BE, MORE THAN JUST..

FRIENDS! I knew it from the start. When dating, you have choices. He was a nice guy. I just didn't like him LIKE THAT. I didn't mislead him. We had some things in common. I wasn't attracted to him. I should have left well enough alone. We should have remained FRIENDS. I just had to know if there was more. You never want to say "what if...?"  Even though you already know WHY NOT.

We  met at a Starbucks. I had seen him there before. He was nice looking.  It wasn't butterflies. I was open to meeting new people. We started hanging out. I wasn't attracted to him. I could tell he was in to me. Our dates were always neutral. Nothing romantic. Didn't want to give him the wrong signals. I was seeing a couple of other people. They were just distractions. He wanted us to be more. We had a really good rapport. I could always count on him. I decided why not. We became a couple. It was the first time I decided to date with my head. It wasn't that bad. We enjoyed the same; restaurants, movies and clubs. We did everything together. All of my friends loved him. My mom kept asking for a wedding date. I liked him. I thought I was happy. Something was still missing. Our sex life was TERRIBLE. I tried everything. I would always want it to be over. My eyes would be open while he was putting in work. He noticed. But never said anything. I began to resent that he had what he wanted. I didn't.  I slowed things down. He wasn't the man for me. I can honestly say I tried. Relationships are work. I'm READY for the job. My heart just has to show up too.        Still Single

JUST BECAUSE I LIKE THEM LIGHT DON'T MEAN I LIKEM...

WHITE! I have a right to my opinion. I just happen to like women of a lighter shade. Its nothing AGAINST darker sisters. Just not my cup of tea. I get tired of the REACTION. I'm just being honest. If you don't like something you should say. Why it gotta be about me wanting a white woman? Or I'm discriminating against  my OWN? Black women need to MAN UP! With all the girl power songs, women can't accept ANY criticism. I prefer a LIGHTER berry and she is VERY sweet too!

I am dark brother. Being chocolate is popular NOW. Back in the day, it was all about the AL B SURE's. I didn't understand. I would try to book ANY cutie, light or dark. I got no play. She wanted the fair skinned curly head boy. I was neither. It probably had an impact. I typically only date light to fair skin women. At first, I didn't notice. Then one day my sister was clowning me. Talking about how I should have grown up in the 60's. I still use the brown paper bag test. I blew it off. Then I started looking at my old pics. ALL the women I had seriously dated were LIGHT. I started bringing up the topic to my friends. It would ALWAYS end up heated. The women would ALL think I really wanted a white woman. Why? I date BLACK women, who happen to be light. I don't see anything wrong. Women discriminate against short men. Just like complexion, height can't be changed. I have seen some cute dark sisters. Just never wanted to get at any. So does that mean I hate my mother? Come on. I'm enjoying my OPTIONS. Everything isn't that DEEP. I don't question all the sisters who want MY berry!.......       Still Single

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE.....

FUCKED UP LIFE! Really? Is this what you want? You couldn't TRULY love her? She doesn't even know you. I get it. You wanted to be married. I guess you didn't see that in me. I wasn't "wifey" material. So now you have your; cute little house, cute little kids and  pretty little wife. Its the picture perfect life. RIGHT? Well you have everything you want. Why do you still NEED me?

The movie Brown Sugar best describes us. I fell en love with hip hop. I fell en love with him. At first, we were lovers. We never made any commitments. We ended up being best friends. I knew everything about him. There was never a reason to lie. Every woman he met, I knew about her. He wanted my approval. He had a healthy appetite for the ladies. You might even consider him a HO. I thought his antics were hilarious. I never knew why the women tolerated. He had a certain charisma. I guess you could consider it bait. It NEVER lasted long. Then he met this BROAD. He said she gave him the best head of his life. Who knew that's all it takes? I guess I need to take a class. Now their married and living the American DREAM. I'm not jealous. REALLY I'm not. I'm just confused. I'm the one he confides to. I'm the one whom he shares his dreams. He called me just the other night. He needed someone to talk to. And SHES the wife? I don't want him. I thought I wanted what they HAVE.  I just don't know what THAT is anymore?    Still Single

AND THE RESULTS ARE IN.....YOU ARE NOT..

THE FATHER! Women are REAL quick to point fingers. "You need to be a man". "Accept your responsibility." "I didn't make this child by myself." "Well if he didn't want a baby, he should have strapped up". "Well it doesn't matter now, the baby is here". "You need to take care of YOUR child". She said it was HIS! She KNEW all ALONG!  THIS is where calling a woman a BITCH FITS!


She wasn't my WOMAN. She was someone I was seeing. We knew some of the same people. I would see her at the same spots. One homecoming party, we got to talking. She was cool. After that night, we would hook up every now and then. No issues. No DRAMA. It was a regular day at work. She calls and says she's pregnant. I hadn't seen her in about two months. It could've been mine. WE discussed OUR options. She said she wasn't haven't IT. I offered to pay. She said it wasn't necessary. A few more conversations and I thought that was it. Almost a year later, I HEAR that she had a baby. I didn't think much about it. I graduated with my degree in Criminal Justice. I was working as a police officer. My life was falling in place. About three years after, SHE calls again. The conversation was cool. I even asked her about the baby. She NEVER said anything. Another year passes, she calls. She wants to talk to me about something. I was curious and confused. I told her she could come by my crib. She did. She changed HER life four years ago. SHE changed MINE in a few minutes. You asked; "What type of man denies his child"?  A better question is; "What type of WOMAN don't know WHO her child's father is?  Still Single

HOW COULD YOU DENY YOUR OWN.....

FLESH AND BLOOD? Men lie. Women lie. We all lie. Some say "a lie is a lie". I don't agree. I tell my girlfriend "I like your hair color"! I actually don't. Thats a lie. My boyfriend is seeing another woman. I ask him if he's cheating. He denies it. Thats a lie. My boyfriend as a result of his cheating conceives a child. He denies IT. This is not JUST a lie. YOU are not a MAN!

We were at a crossroad. After three years, we were trying to figure US out. I knew we loved each other. We had experienced so much together. I was going to spend my life with him. Then she called. The call caught me off guard. I cursed her out. I called her all types of BITCHES. She hung up. She had blocked her number. I couldn't call back.  I confronted him. He denied the relationship. He said it was some chick who had been hanging on for years. I didn't really know what to think. We had some problems but I never felt he was cheating. After that call, I never heard back from her. Several months went by, he proposed. I was little nervous.  I loved him. I wanted to marry him. I accepted. A month or so later, we had more news. I was pregnant. Our life seemed to be moving forward. The wedding plans were on there way. The baby was kicking up a storm. We moved into OUR new digs. I could not have been happier. He was by my side the entire time. He cried when he saw the first sonogram. He told EVERYONE we was having a boy! A letter came to the house. It was a child support notice. It was from that woman who I'd cursed out. I found out later, she wasn't calling to tell me about HER. She was calling to tell me about HIM. His ELDEST son. .........Still Single

OH AND BTW, THANKS FOR THE.........

DISEASE! Betrayal has many different stages. She had to know. I've been with a FEW women. I'm not a saint. I USUALLY where condoms. I wouldn't say I'm reckless. This was a professional church going woman. Who would ever thought SHE had an STD? I guess just like a bullet, HERPES has no name either!

We attended the same church. She spearheaded the outreach ministry. A few casual conversations,  I asked her out. I had never dated anyone in my church. I decided to take it slow. We dated for a few weeks before any physical contact. We both believed that sex before marriage was wrong. When we saw each other in church, we barely spoke. I wasn't comfortable letting people know. We tried to resist the temptation. One night, we gave in. She was wild in bed. I guess the stereotype about church girls was true. We continued seeing each other for some months. I was at her house using the bathroom. I noticed a small bump. The next few days I noticed more. At first, I figured it was the detergent. It was new. Then I became concerned. I went to the doctor. They ran some tests. I could not believe what they told me. I had HERPES. I was in shock. I got burned as a teenager. Nothing serious. I guess I thought it couldn't never happen.The doctor prescribed some medicine. He told me that it was not a cure. He said that the breakouts could be minimized but I would ALWAYS have the disease. I would have to tell EVERY woman I slept with. I had only been with her a few times. I was ENRAGED. It is a feeling that you never want to have. I confronted her. She acted like she had know idea. She tried to flip the script. "Maybe I should get checked out too"? I wanted to grab her by the neck. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't change what had happened. I live with THIS everyday. I never spoke to her again. I no longer attend that church. I haven't been in a serious relationship in years. I struggle telling women. I know everybody has some baggage. Its just hard carrying mine. .....Still Single

SHE NEVER KNEW THAT HER BOYFRIEND WANTED.....

ME TOO! It was so hard to understand. He made it seem like it was ok. I never told anyone. I was only a teenager. I hadn't even seen a man naked before. My father was in jail. I tried to avoid his comments. I tried to avoid his help. It became such an everyday thing. I thought he would get over it. I thought he would stop. I never wanted his attention. I never thought my first sexual encounter would be so terrible. I also thought it wouldn't be with my MOTHERS MAN.


I developed pretty fast as a girl. Beyonce' made being "bootylicious" a real word. I've always hated the attention I got for my body. I wasn't looking to get involved.  We knew each other for years. He was like my male best friend. One day he told me he wanted to be with me. I had so many failed relationships. I knew he would be good to me. He was the perfect boyfriend. He was supportive. He listened. He didn't want ANYTHING from me. I never trusted any of my boyfriends. Men would always approach me because of the way I looked. I was actually insecure. He was different. He didn't treat me like an object. I still avoided being intimate. He was totally understanding. It was just hard for me to be open. I hadn't really dealt with my past. Every time a man was nice to me, I thought he had other intentions. He noticed my distance. I couldn't really explain it. I wanted to be happy. I just didn't know how. I decided I needed to deal with me. I broke it off. I have never told my mother what happened. I've always wondered if she knew. I'm still in therapy today. Its not always something funny. I hope my story helps to explain why some people SHOULD be.......Still Single

I REALLY NEED TO STOP..........

DRINKING! I am an educated woman. I was raised with very strong values. I've never had ANY problems with the law. I'm the first one in the office. I'm the last one to leave. I keep my body tight. I am extremely active in my church and professional association. I've even considered getting a second Masters Degree. On paper, I am the BOMB. In reality, you might consider me an alcoholic. I just think I have more fun DRUNK!

I have a really busy schedule. I've set a lot of goals for myself. I've achieved most of them. I would like to meet the right guy. In spite of my single status, I have a very active social life. I'm involved in several social groups. I also date often. My job requires me to travel a lot. I've been all over the country and abroad. In all honesty, I really can't complain. After work, a few us usually go to happy hour. We planned to go to a new spot on Friday. I'm usually the IT girl. Everybody wants me to go. I like to have a good time. The place was packed. We managed to find a table. I usually buy the first round. The guys in my office can't even hang. After my third shot, I was ready for my favorite. BONE CRUSHERS are SO good!. I don't know about other people. I like the way liquor tastes. Its like chocolate. I sometimes lick my glass. The night was winding down. I saw this really cute guy. I'm aggressive sober, drunk I'm all over you. We talked for minute then I told the crew I'm out. He walked me to the car. I'm sure he figured he was going to get some. I was probably going to give him some. I was feeling fine in the bar. When I got outside, I started to feel quizzy. I still wonder what the hell was that smell. A few minutes later, it was all over me. Then IT was all over him. He jumped back called me some obscene names and drove away. I managed to get to my car. I woke up the next morning still in the parking lot. It's my ONLY vice. Everybody has one. Some women sleep with every man they meet. I've NEVER had a one night stand........I'm usually TOO DRUNK for that.      Still Single  

WOULD YOU GIVE UP WHAT YOU LOVE FOR WHO....

YOU LOVE?  Life is about choices. Someone once said "live like its your last day". You might get hit by a bus tomorrow. Don't have any regrets. Take that trip to Europe. Sky dive off a plane. Drive across country. Have a threesome. Have a baby. Start that business. Buy that motorcycle. This is living right? The reality is, you will probably NOT get hit by a bus. You will probably live for the next 50 years. Only you know what you can live with and WHO you can live without.

I saw her and I knew.  "I could make a life with this woman." We never slowed down. First, she was a woman I'm seeing. Within a few weeks, she was my girlfriend. Then, we were engaged. I've always been a focused dude. I finished my undergrad degree in three years. Finished graduate school in less then two.  Opening my own business, was one of my things on my MUST do list. I stumbled across a great opportunity. I pitched the idea to my boy. We were off and running. A new business means long days and even longer nights. At first, she was supportive. She knew how important this was. The business wasn't taking off like I'd hoped. I barely slept. I wanted it to work so bad. It started to interfere with OUR time. She started complaining about the wedding plans. I tried to strike a balance. Everyday SOMETHING would come up. If the business was going to succeed, I had to make some sacrifices. We postponed the wedding plans. We later drifted apart. I don't have any regrets. I still love her. I just loved IT more.      Still Single

THE D**CK DON'T FIT..... YOU CAN'T

COMMIT! Women say they want a well endowed man. We make jokes about the "minute" man. We want our backs blown out. We want our toes to curl. We want to call our girls the next day and tell them how good it was. We want a man who brings IT.  Don't we?  MANDINGO is not a myth. Be careful what you ask for. MR. BIG might be TOO big for you!

My college years were life changing. I met so many different type of people. I was at my prime. I was living on campus. He was in the same dorm. We were all broke and filled with dreams. Hip Hop was becoming EVERYBODY new hustle. He was no different. He would come to my dorm and tell me about this GROUP. It was like 20 of them. He was so hyped about it. I didn't really get it. BUT I loved his energy. I knew he liked me. I wasn't really feeling him. Not really my type. We hung out a lot. He was always in my room writing rhymes. He started to grow on me. I started to feel a connection. My roommate was leaving for a home visit. I decided to surprise him. When he got to the door, I was all ready. He was all smiles. He couldn't wait. We started kissing and touching. I felt it. I was impressed. He backed away. He said he has something to tell me. I was like "OH NO, he's got a disease". He told me that he had problems fitting condoms. I laughed and said "oh you like that"? He looked so serious. I said "boy please lets get this going". After several popped condoms, I started to wonder. He wasn't playing. He told me he was disease free. He said he had his last AIDS test results. I figured? He must be telling the truth. I now wanted to see what was the big deal. OH it was a BIG deal. I mean I had never......  It was..... He must've had some type of birth...... After THREE painful attempts, I had to admit. I couldn't handle it. He told me that most women couldn't. He was actually sexually deprived because of his HUGE D**k! I'm not sure whatever happened to him. I always wondered what became of his group. I laugh now when I hear women say they want a big one. Let me tell you, aint NOTHING sexy about a shifted uterus.  Still Single

ITS NOT YOU, ITS NOT ME, ITS..... .....

TIME.  You ever met a guy who really has it together? He's financially stable. He has his own home. He travels extensively. He doesn't have any children. He's educated AND ambitious. They still exist. Not all men are avoiding a committed relationship. They want what we want. A grown established woman . Isn't it a damn shame when HE'S ready and YOUR not?

I met him through mutual friends. We always had a good vibe. We just never hung out. One day he asked. He was a really GOOD guy. I found myself not only liking him for me, but just liking him period. He had so much to offer.  I on the other hand was in transition. I had just moved BACK home with my parents. I was still working on my degree. My money was very limited. I really wasn't bringing sexy back. At first, he didn't seem phased by my living status. Our chemistry was strong. I was always at his house. I felt grown when we were together. I was always reminded that I wasn't. He wanted me stay over. I would usually leave before the sun came up. He found it ridiculous. My parents had very traditional conservative values. They didn't approve of me "sleeping over". It became such a headache. The bottom line was, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. I needed to focus on me. We later became really good friends. He's still a great guy.  I'm ALL grown-up. Of course he's married now. I'm happy for him. You don't always meet Mr. Right at YOUR right time.   Still Single

IF 30 IS THE NEW 20 THEN WE ARE BASICALLY..

THE SAME AGE. I wouldn't consider myself a cougar. But I do consider him my BOY TOY. He's not jaded. His optimism is refreshing. I enjoy him. He enjoy's me. What difference does it make if he's, 5, 10 maybe 15 years YOUNGER? Men date younger women all the time. We may not have that much to talk about. But when your dating a YOUNGIN, whose talking?

I didn't even think he noticed me. Until one day our casual conversation turned sexual. I've had friends with benefits, but he was different. He never needed any set up. He was always ready. I could look like crap. He would make me feel beautiful. The sex was, EXACTLY. I didn't even know what an African squat was, til I met him. Being around him was intoxicating. I would forget about my complicated life. He came over to do his laundry. One thing led to another, we were on the kitchen floor. I had to be at work by 8am. He wasn't working. I was getting ready for bed. He wanted to do it again. He was insatiable. I told him I was exhausted. He picked me up and we did it on the washer machine. The next morning, I was a mess. I overslept and couldn't find anything. My back was killing me and my eyes were swollen. I was frantically looking for my other shoe. I noticed he was still sleep. He didn't need to be anywhere. He could have sex all night and sleep all day. I kissed him and told him to lock my door before he left. We would never be more. We BOTH knew this. A few months later, my life was back to basics. I think about him now and again. He told me to call whenever I wanted IT back. I haven't called yet. I guess MY life needs more than just the GROOVE.     Still Single.

ITS NOT CHEATING ITS JUST A LITTLE....

PORN! Why would you get mad over a fantasy? She's not in my bed. I'm not REALLY touching her. What is the big deal? I've been looking at porn since I was a boy. Magazines, movies, books, I'm into it all. I'm not at the strip club. I don't even know these women. Its just me on the couch watching  a little ANDY GRIFFIN!

I had finally found a woman who I really dig. She was beautiful and sweet. We'd been together for about two years. Things were moving in the direction of marriage. One evening, she's sleep and I'm horny. I decided to have some fun with my girl. PINKY never let me down. I guess I was a little too loud. She wakes up and starts screaming on me about the video. I told her to calm down. I couldn't believe her reaction. It was like she was jealous of a porn star. I told her to stop tripping. She asked me how often did I do this. I told her whenever I was in the mood. She seemed so shocked. I guess I had never mentioned and she never asked. Weeks later,  I could tell she was still on guard. It was like she was trying to catch me. I came home early and smelled smoke. There was something burning in the trash can. She had found my stash! Burned up a TWENTY year collection. I was pissed. She claimed my porn made her FEEL like I wasn't being faithful. Well I was, until that night. Some things should just be left alone. PINKY was a fantasy SHE was my reality.     Still Single

"WORK AIN'T HONEST BUT IT PAYS THE

BILLS". Thug love is still alive. I want him to get out. He's so good at so many other things. He's so intelligent. His father was killed doing the same. We have three children. I am the only person he REALLY trusts. We are just like any other family. We have a home. Our children go to school. We celebrate Thanksgiving with our family. I've even started going to church. He LOVES us so much. THIS is the only world I know. If the money was gone, I'd still be with him. He says I'm lying. I know HE'S in the game. I just didn't realize how much I'M  playing too.

We grew up in the same neighborhood. In the late 80's, everybody was dealing. Hustlers were like government workers. They were everywhere. He was so confident. I don't know if it was the lifestyle or just him. I loved GUCCI and GOLD. I eventually fell en love with him. We had been together forever. There were moments of separation. When he got locked up, I dated other men. Once he got home, we were right back together. I always say its OVER.  It NEVER really is.  He was scheduled to be released. His homecoming was always bitter sweet. I would miss him desperately, but I'd always move on. The man that I had been seeing, knew about him. I was torn. His letters and words say the same, "things are going to be different baby, I'm out the game for good". I want to believe him. I'm almost 40 years old. I can't keep living this way. He was back home. The children loved having their father back. I want my FAMILY. He seemed different. He got a job doing security at a club. There were no late night RUNS. No odd calls with cryptic messages. He even started going to church with me. Maybe this time he was really out. After more than a decade, I finally felt safe. The feeling didn't last long. I was heading home to pick up my son, when I received a call. When I heard the woman say, "you need to get here immediately" I knew. I didn't know half the people at his funeral. I wondered if the person who killed him was there. I said to myself "they have blood on THEIR hands". When I was leaving the funeral home, a young lady stopped me. She asked me where did I get my Gucci bag from. I started crying and became hysterical. I threw the purse at her and said take it. My sister grabbed me and asked what was wrong. I told her the purse was old and damaged. I didn't want it anymore. No one else said anything. I guess I was the only one who could see the BLOOD.
Still Single

YEAH, I BUST YOUR WINDOWS IN YOUR.....

CAR! When things don't go my way, I can get a little upset . I'm  an only child.  I don't like to share. I'm not a desperate woman. I have the RIGHT assetts. I just don't know why men continue to test me. I wouldn't cheat on me.  I am THAT woman. I go through emails. I check phone logs. I snoop through pockets. DON'T lie about where you been. I really hate this side of me. SOME men just never learn.

We were dating for about 6 months.  I was totally committed to him. When we first met, I had some doubts. I knew he was dating other women. He said he stopped seeing them. I believed him. There weren't any signs of him cheating, AT FIRST. Then late one night, his phone goes off. He doesn't answer. I knew at that moment what I had to do. I started monitoring his phone. I clocked his schedule. Snooped through his pockets. I knew he was cheating but I couldn't prove it. I purchased a little gadget on-line. It gave me his passwords. Just like I thought, naked pictures of some chick. He must have thought I was playing. I confronted him. He denied knowing where the pictures came from. OK. He was warned. We are still together. I really can't share any more. All I can say is, he WISHES he was STILL SINGLE.

DID I DO SOMETHNG .......

WRONG? Communication today is difficult. The rules are always changing. The dating game is on speed. One day you feel a connection. The next day, you don't. I have good instincts when it comes to men. At least I thought I did.  I'm usually one move ahead. I'm not one of those women who thinks we are more than what it is. I get it. I'm not YOUR queen. But I am not used to being a PON.

It was homecoming weekend. Everyone was partying. We literally ran into each other. He was abstract. Not that cute. No real sex appeal. It was just something. Every time we hung out, we had so much fun. Our chemistry was so on point. We loved; the same music, the same TV shows, the same restaurants. He was too good to be true. Every morning I would get a call. I absolutely LOVED his voice. I was getting used to US. It had been about 3 weeks.  I was ready to take it further. We were chilling at his apartment. He was always so affectionate. I thought he was going to make a move. He didn't. We just kissed. I didn't think much of it. The next morning. He didn't call. When I tried to call him, I got his voicemail. I didn't understand. He always called in the morning. I started to wonder if something happen to him. Days went by, no call. I was really worried. Then he answered. He acted like I was tripping. It was like he was a different person. No argument. No issues. That was IT. I made up excuses to my self. "I was too much for him". "He didn't want to use me like his other women". "He's going to call and apologize". I never heard from him. I guess all relationships don't fit into the three categories. It was surely less than a season. Not even close to a lifetime. And I NEVER got the reason. Still Single

YOU LIVE WITH YOUR.....

MAMA? Times are tough for everyone. People are living check to check. Gas prices are high. Salaries are low. Our children need more from their parents, longer. The economy has us ALL on edge. People are losing their jobs and their homes. We all are making sacrafices to survive. It's not odd that a man has a roomate. It is odd when that roomate is your MAMA!

I was buying a part for my car. He cracked a joke about my 10 car freshners. We instantly hit it off . He worked downtown at a building near mine. After a few phone calls, we met for lunch. Lunch time started to become OUR time. I looked forward to seeing him everyday. We had alot in common. There was also  a strong attraction. Kissing him just felt right. Some weeks went by, we were getting a little too hot and heavy for lunch. I invited him to my place. One thing led to another, we woke up the next morning in my bed. He started to hang out  alot at my place. We were together everyday and night. I realized that he had never invited me to his place. I was starting to wonder. I told him  I wanted see his spot. He told me that his mother was staying with him. I guess the look on my face said "why"? He proceeded to explain all the financial difficulties she was having. He really wanted to be supportive to his mom. He was a good guy. It was only a temporary situation. He's was at  my house everyday anyway.  A couple of months went by and I finally met his mother. She was an articulate business woman who was excited to meet me. I was a little confused.  She didn't seem down on her luck. The house was a lot nicer than I expected. When he went to the restroom, his mother began thanking me for taking him off her hands. I laughed and told her "you must be tired of living with your son"? She chuckeld and said "I don't LIVE with my son, this is MY house". "I was thanking you for letting him live with you".  UHHHHH..
Still Single

I'M GETTING MARRIED...............!!!!!!!!!!!

to the wrong person. It just seemed like the practical thing to do. We were living together. She was a good woman. She was committed to making me happy. All of my friends were getting married. My parents  worried that I'm going to end up alone. I'm almost 40. I want children. I guess the CLOCK doesn't just tick for women.

We met at work. I was with someone else at the time. We became friends. After I broke up with my ex, we started dating. On our first date, she told me how she felt. I already knew. She'd been waiting for her turn. Our relationship progressed pretty fast. We went from; dating, to being committed, to living together. I realized that she was trying to be THAT woman. I allowed her to feel like she was. She cooked for me. She kept the house immaculate. If I wanted to hang out with the fellas, she was always cool. The subject of marriage often came up. I did want to be married someday. My parents have been married for over 30 years. I wanted that for myself. I actually thought I'd be married with a couple of kids by now. I was feeling some pressure. My cousin text me that my ex was getting married. It shouldn't have mattered, but it did. I couldn't let it go. A couple of months later, I was engaged. I'm currently planning my wedding. She couldn't be happier. Even though she knows. By the time you read this post, I might be married. Life is about choices. There are plenty of people who marry for the wrong reasons. I'm not. Marriage isn't always about love. I'm getting married so I won't have to be  "STILL SINGLE"

WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY.....

GUM? You know when your breath stinks. Don't you? I totally understand, you just had salmon. You don't have any breath mints handy. You just woke up. A little morning breath. I get it. But your breath ALWAYS stinks. You must be rotten inside. When is the last time you been to the dentist? Maybe you need a colonic. I don't know. But a woman THAT FINE, should not have breath that bad.

I saw her on the dance floor. I said to myself "Imma get me some of that". And I did. She seemed really cool. She was a elementary school teacher. We talked on the phone for about week. She always had a crazy story to share about her kids. We made plans to hang out. A movie and some drinks. When I picked her up, she gave me hug. She was telling me one of her stories and started to laugh. It was like a black cloud came out of her mouth. I had never smelled anything so bad. The whole night I tried to keep her quiet. She was a talker. Every time she leaned towards me, I pulled back. Didn't she know her breath stank? I decided to stop at  7-eleven. I grabbed some snacks for me and breath mints for her. I figured that would help. IT DIDN'T. We arrived at her house. She wanted a kiss good bye. I told her I don't kiss on the first date. Then handed her the box of Altoids. I hope she got the hint.  Still Single

I TEXTED YOU LAST NIGHT?...OH I TWEETED YOU......

BACK. There is a NEW language of love. Its called TECHNOLOGY. No one talks anymore. I call you. You text me. I leave you a message. You in box. I email you. You instant message me. What is going on? Relationships have become VIRTUAL. They don't seem REAL. It 's like we are ALL living in the Matrix.  Neo was right.  "There is no SPOON".

He FRIENDED me on Face Book. I didn't even remember who he was. We went to the same High school. I checked his STATUS. We were both single. After a couple of COMMENT exhanges, I INSTANT MESSAGED him. Our messaging became more flirty. I sent him my number. He TEXTED me the next day. I texted him back that night. He asked me to SEND him a PIC. I did. Somebody SHARED a link on my twitter page. I texted him "do you have a twitter account"? He did. I shared the link on his TIME LINE. He TWEETED me right back, "Cool"! He sent his regular "GM" text. I tweeted him right back, "@...... whats up?"  Things were going well! We'd been in a relationship for about a month. He IN BOXED me "what are you doing this weekend"? I POSTED on his WALL "nothing". He wanted to HOOK UP on Friday. I instant messaged him, "what time"? He EMAILED eight o'clock. Then he sent the link to his SKYPE.   I wonder what I should wear?
Still Single

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T....

READ?  We are all works in progress. Some things are more of a challenge. Nobody is perfect. We can be ashamed of our deficits. It could be health related. It could be finances. Maybe a bad decision with the law. Everyone wants to improve SOMETHING. I am no different. I'd like to grow with someone. I'm a supportive woman. I'm up for any challenge. Or am I?

I was getting gas. He pulled next to my car. I thought I looked a mess. He thought I was kinda cute. We started talking that night. He told me he had his own business. He did home improvements. Our first few dates, he fixed everything in my house. He was really good with his hands. He didn't talk very much. I figured he was shy. He was a country boy. The simple things he appreciated. I wanted to show him some city life. We made plans for dinner and a movie. My treat. I made the reservation and told him the time. When he picked me up, he asked a lot questions about the menu. I told him they had a good selection for him to choose. He kept asking what was I going to order. I finally told him. We arrived at the restaurant. He didn't look at the menu. He just ordered what I ordered. After dinner, I suggested we pick up a paper. We had to decide a movie and time. I handed him the paper. He said he didn't care. I told him it was his choice. He became frustrated and said he didn't want to go. I asked him what was wrong. He finally said, "I CAN'T READ"! I was thrown. He told me that he had dropped out of high school. He  memorized most things. New items were a challenge. I wanted to help him. I wanted to say that THIS was ok. It wasn't. I know couples have to work together. I'm not asking for too much.  If I'm able to pay for the meal. You should be able to READ the menu.
Still Single

OUR LOVE ISN'T TAINTED.. IT SHOULDN'T MATTER THAT SHE'S A

STRIPPER. I frequent strip clubs. Yeah I'm there for lunch. What man doesn't enjoy a good lap dance with a steak? It's relaxing. It's an escape from your reality. I watch them on stage twirling and gyrating. Its more than taking off your clothes. Its an art form. It takes skill and talent to be up on that pole. It's an honest days work. They are providing a service. Maybe you can't turn a ho into a housewife. But she's not a ho! She's a STRIPPER.

The very first time I saw her, I knew we had a connection. The place was just nasty. Men were drunk, tables were sticky and the bathrooms were filled with smoke. All around you, was TITTIES and ASS. She was different. When she got on that stage, it was like nobody else was in that room . I started tipping her more. I knew her REAL name. We would chat after her set. I knew she had two kids. She graduated from the same High School. She wasn't just a stripper. She was starting her own clothing line. I found myself liking this woman. I could tell she felt the same. When I walked in the door, she knew I was there. She would dance just for ME. I would watch her for hours sliding on the floor, touching herself. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I would jerk off thinking about her. I was falling en love with her. I wanted to be with her. I waited for the right moment to ask her out. She said when? We started dating. At first, I think I was in awe. Then reality hit. We didn't have crazy sex every night. She was always complaining. "Who are you with"? "Where have you been"? "I need some money"! She was always in the mirror, PRACTICING. She reminded me often how lucky I was. I wanted her to stop stripping. She wouldn't. She said the money was too good. I didn't understand. I was giving her EVERYTHING. What else did she want? I broke it off. I heard she was still stripping at the same spot. I guess we were both back to our REALITIES.    Still Single

YES SHE'S WITH .....

ME, SERIOUSLY! I see people looking. I know what they are thinking. "Why is HE with HER?"  Maybe she isn't the MOST attractive person. Looks aren't everything. She's a good person. She has a great personality. I love her sense of humor. We have alot in common. WHAT? I've had plenty of beautiful girlfriends. I know my friends had me marrying a BEY ONCE type. But Seriously, THIS is my girlfriend. Why don't you believe me?

I was reading the paper at Star bucks. She mentioned an article in the metro section. We just hit it off. She wasn't exactly my type. She didn't have much of a body. She had no style. She had natural hair, which I liked. She just didn't seem to know what to do with it. She had some NICE features. Her face just, WASN'T. We'd been dating pretty serious for about 5 months. I hadn't introduced her to any of my friends or family. They can be so judgemental. I didn't want to subject her to their petty ridicule. My best friend was getting married. She over heard me talking about the rehearsal dinner. I was feeling anxious. My friends wanted to meet her. She wanted to meet them.  I decided it was time. I wanted her to make a good first impression. I knew she wasn't really in to fashion.  My ex used to shop at this boutique. She was always fly. I made a few suggestions on what she could wear. I had a friend who wore her hair natural but it was styled really nice. I gave her the number to the shop. The night of the event, she actually looked nice. I told her how good she looked. "They are going to love you". While we were driving, I noticed she was upset. I asked her what was wrong. She said after the dinner she wanted to go home. She didn't want to see me again. I didn't understand. We were so happy. I wasn't cheating on her. I didn't abuse her. I paid for everything. I just didn't get it. The dinner was over and we were at her house. Before she got out she asked me, "did I play the part"? "What part"? "Being HER"!
Still Single

ARE YOU SURE? HOW MANY DAYS HAS IT BEEN....YES...

FOOL I'M PREGNANT! I was confused. Maybe we did have a future. Maybe we didn't. I can barely take care of myself. I can't take care of another human being. I don't even like small children. Women have the right to choose. ONE decision can effect THREE lives. I never thought I would feel this way. I don't feel any connection. I don't want this baby. I'm going to have an abortion. A LIFE for a LIFE. MINE first!

We'd been messing around for years. I never thought we would be TOGETHER. He wasn't the marrying type. That night, we didn't have a condom. We did it any way. When it was time for him to pull out, he didn't. I reminded him that I WASN'T on the pill. He said "chill out, we're good". A month or so later, I was pregnant. I was actually seeing someone ELSE. This was awkward. I was embarrassed to tell anyone. I had just started a new job. Moved into a new apartment. What would people think? "Another single black woman with a BABY". I didn't want to be considered a statistic. I decided I wasn't going to have IT. I made an appointment at the clinic. I waited for his sorry ass to pick me up. He said he over slept. I made ANOTHER appointment. My girl was going to take me. They completed my exam and told me that I was further along. I didn't have enough money. I couldn't believe this sh**t.  I made a third appointment. The night before, I had a dream. A baby girl was sleeping on my lap. I didn't want my life to change. I didn't know anything about children. WE would never be a couple. This was for the best. Years later, I think about that time. I know I made the right the decision. He's 17 now.
STILL SINGLE  

TONIGHT ITS JUST ME AND ......

THE RABBIT! I get home. I'm alone. I want to get one off.  I have NO prospects. The season has been dry. Humans have basic needs. To connect is one of them. I could wait for someone to come along. Or I could reach into my nightstand drawer. "JIMMY" has NEVER let me down.

Modern times have introduced new TOYS. My co-worker invited me to a sex toy party. I had never been to one. I've heard of all the GADGETS that women were using. Just never thought about it. The party was alot of fun. I actually learned a lot about how my clitoris works. It appears you don't really need a penis. The consistent vibration on that G spot, guarantees the big O. I NEEDED a BIG O. I bought myself a RABBIT. Seemed easy enough. The fist time I tried it, it didn't work. I guess its like having sex the first time. You need to develop a rhythm. My hand eye coordination wasn't the best. A few more trys, JIMMY and I were EN LOVE. I couldn't believe how much I came. I had never cum that much with a man. A few weeks later, I started seeing someone. He was pretty cool. We were starting to get close. He asked me when was my last relationship, "about two years ago". "I've dated off and on, nothing serious". I told him I hadn't been with a MAN in a really long time. BUT I had a little TOOL, named Jimmy, who I hooked up with. He told me he wanted to be more than a booty call.  The time was right. He led me to my bedroom and started to undress me.  He asked if I had any condoms. I told him to reach into my top drawer. When he felt around, he pulled out my rabbit. He asked me what it was. I said meet JIMMY! He didn't think it was sexy. Overtime, he actually became jealous. He told me to choose. You guessed it!
STILL SINGLE

SO I'VE PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT....I STILL LOOK

GOOD! The media has EVERYONE on a diet. Models are slim white women. Video VIXENS are bootylicious black women. I think I'm somewhere in between. I used to be the bomb. Cute in the face, slim in the waste. Then we started dating. I got a little comfortable. I'm beautiful at ANY size. You love ME don't you? Maybe I am PHAT, but am I still your BABY?


Having BODY, makes life easier. I LOVE looking good. He saw my BUTT before he saw my face. That was our running joke. He was a mechanic where I got my car fixed. Our chemistry was instant. I'm a girly girl. I'm all; hair, nails and make up. He was so in to me.  We'd been together for almost a year. We were going strong. Looking in the mirror one day, I noticed a little more jiggle in the middle. WHATEVER. He loved my ASSETTS. Life is stressful. I didn't have as much time to get to the gym. I didn't have as much time to get my hair and nails done. Men don't have the same pressure. While getting dressed for work, he pinched my stomach. I looked at him and said "what"? He told me that I needed to get back in the gym. I was waiting for him to laugh. He didn't. He was serious. I was embarrassed. Maybe I had become a little TOO comfortable. I've never been THAT girl. I've always gotten attention for the way I looked. I decided to ignore his comments and do me. A few more months passed, my clothes weren't fitting. I noticed him acting different. I didn't want to believe. I had actually let myself go. He broke it off. Made up some excuse about needing to focus on his kids.  I'm working on losing the weight. I'm doing it for me. Women just can't forget. Whatever you USED to get them, you better maintain to KEEP them.
Still Single

YOU NEED A BREAK......FROM US OR JUST

ME? Relationships are work.  Sometimes you feel like you have two jobs. Three if you have children. I'm ready to make this a FT gig. He's not? He's says that he loves me. We have been talking about OUR future. We've been together for more than a year. I'm almost 35 years old. I know what I want. He's older than me.  But HE needs more time. I'm tired of dating. I've been patient. He wants to make sure that I'm the one? So now you need a break? "Maybe he just needs some time before he proposes"?.... Yeah, I don't believe that either.

We've dated off and on for several years. This time it felt right. I always thought he might be the one. Even though my mother didn't. He was an established business man. I was starting a new career. We were both ambitious. He told me what he wanted in a wife. Nothing unreasonable. Dinner dates were like business deals. I was ready to enter negotiations. When you are mature adults, you should lay all of your cards on the table. I thought we were progressing. Then I received the email. It basically said he was taking a trip with some FRIENDS. He needed to clear his head. He wasn't sure where we were going? I didn't know how to respond. It was one thing to take a BREAK. It was another to take it for two weeks half around the world. I know men struggle with commitment. We have so few options. I hated waiting. He returned and as predicted, things were awkward. He told me he wanted to cool things down. "Maybe a little time apart would bring us closer". How?  I was crushed. And disappointed. I wanted to call him and curse him out, but decided not. I'm a southern LADY. He's over 40 and still LOOKING. I sent him an email. Simply stated; "I don't need MORE time apart, to know we shouldn't be together". Life is too short to never be FOUND.    Still single

MAYBE IM NOT NUMBER ONE, BUT WHOSE

COUNTING?  Yes I have to admit I'M THE CHICK ON THE SIDE. Its never intended. It just happens. He's my old boo. He calls just to catch up. You decide to meet for lunch. He complains about his relationship. You know how it goes. At first your his counselor. Then your lovers again. I didn't want him back. Men are all the same. Why be number one? You only get hurt. Maybe I am lowering my standards. Or maybe I'm just playing it smart. Being number two has its benefits. I enjoy almost all of the amenities of WIFEY but with no fear of finding out about ME!

It was like 12 in the morning. I couldn't believe he was calling this late. I asked him where was his girlfriend? He didn't respond. We were still good friends. The conversation was innocent. We caught up and decided to have lunch. Over lunch, all he did was complain about her. I listened and tried to be optimistic. I never thought a few weeks later he'd be in MY bed. At first I felt some guilt. Then I thought, "he's not married". Our relationship became pretty routine. We talked all the time. We went out all the time. His girlfriend must have been an idiot. It was like he was my man. He acted like my man. I guess I forgot he wasn't. Out of nowhere, he called and told me that he was getting married. And he was sorry, we couldn't see each other any more. I will admit I was hurt. But I couldn't be angry. Its all apart of the game. SOME girlfriends graduate to wives. But some CHICKS never make it to mistress.      
Still Single

IF THE "BITCH" FITS ........

WEAR IT! I love black women. Let me be real. I love WOMEN. I've dated outside of my race. But remain faithful to my own. I get a little tired of the "angry black woman thing".  Its ridiculous. We don't have a script on how to degrade women. There are certain women who have just not been taught how to SHOW respect. I am a man of GREAT constraint. Most of us have said things we regret. I don't.  Because when I call a woman a BITCH, I mean it.

Two years and she STILL doesn't know how to say THANK YOU. She was beautiful and educated. We met at a business conference. Her ambition and drive was sexy. I have dated all types of women, black white, asian, latino and OTHER. She fit some of the stereotypes.  A classic Ms INDEPENDENT; bossy, opinionated, can do everything herself, I was still attracted. She motivated me. I wanted to grow with someone. She was a good soundboard. Over dinner, I shared with her my new idea. A breakfast truck, that sold NOTHING but grits. Cinnamon grits, cheese grits, grits and bacon, I had a thousand recipes. The business plan wasn't complete but she got the gist. Maybe she was PMSING, maybe she was drunk, either way she was pissing me off. Her questions were condescending, her tone was belittling. I had dealt with this for TWO years. I had enough. I told her to shut up. She just stared at me and KEPT talking. I told her to get up, so we could leave. She refused. I wanted to get out of there. I waved to the server to bring the bill. I told her this wasn't working, "maybe we should take a break"? She laughed and said she'd have another boyfriend by tomorrow. I just shook my head and got up. As I walked away, I passed yet ANOTHER angry black woman who over heard me mumble something under my breath. She asked me "who you calling a BITCH"? I wanted to say YOU Queen Latifah, but THAT BITCH wasn't for her.     Still Single

BUT IT HURTS SOOOOOOO..

GOOD. The first time it shocks you. Then he makes the promise. Then it happens again. You want to believe him. He's always sorry afterwards. "I don't know why I make him so angry"? His RAGE frightens you. But his intensity turns you on. No one would understand. I know this is wrong. I'm ashamed that I LOVE him but more ashamed that I LOVE the PAIN.

My father used to hit my mother. I never knew why she stayed.  I swore I would never be like her. I had found the ideal man. He was so kind. We were the picture perfect couple. My friends envied how he treated me. We did everything. Traveling, shopping, dining, the sky was the limit. When we made love, he was so aggressive. I loved it. Our relationship was passionate. The moment I would  hit the door, we were at it. I thought he was happy. After I got a new job, things started to change.  I was promoted to manager and had to work longer hours. I never knew how insecure he was. He accused me of cheating. I wasn't. One day when were arguing, he slapped me. I couldn't believe he hit me. He immediately apologized. I was dazed. When he grabbed my hair, I thought he was going to hit me again. He didn't.  He kissed me and threw me on the bed. I wanted him to stop but became aroused. The sex was so intense. I was ashamed that I came. It started to become a cycle. We would fight then F**K! It was getting out of control. I had to end it. I told him he needed help. He agreed. We broke up the following week. I wish things could have been different. I just wanted him to stop beating ME up, not the P**SY. .........Still Single

GIRLS NIGHT OUT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT....

THE GIRLS. Women understand each other. Men will let you down.  Your girls will ALWAYS have your back. You have a friend who lets you cry. You have a friend who will help you fight. They know  EVERYTHING . But they never judge. When you don't have someone special in your life, your girls never leave your side. At least until they meet someone.

We've been friends since grade school. I can't think of a single life event without her. We've shared everything, from secrets to shoes. When I broke up with my ex, she helped me move. I was in a relationship for a minute. She'd been single forever. I was missing all the fun. She was so happy we were BOTH single. I was ready for girls night out! Happy hour was our speciality. We always arrived early. We wanted to secure a good spot at the bar. I had the hips and she had the tits. We never liked the same type of guy. While standing at the bar, I noticed this guy giving me some rhythm. He was kind of cute. I told my girl. She looked over and said "I know him".  "He used to date my cousin". A few minutes later, we were ALL on the dance floor. I was having a good time.  For a moment, it was a little awkward. Everytime we would get close, she would come between us. The night was winding down and I still didn't have his number. He walked us to the car. He mentioned how much fun he had. Then he just walked away. A few days later, my girl said she was going on a date. It was with the dude from the other night. She said she'd been eyeing him for awhile. I was a little pissed, "I saw him first". She snidely replied "well you never got his number". REALLY?  I guess ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, don't really want to be SINGLE after all.  ........Still Single (and so is she:)

WAIT A MINUTE IS MY WALLET.......

missing? Everyone handles stress different. We are all so busy. Doctors are often only seen when somethings wrong. We don't know how to take care of ourselves. Alcohol, cigarettes and sex are quick fixes. Some even find an escape in food. Maybe I did notice him having too many drinks. Maybe I did notice him smoking too many cigarettes. But does that mean I'm dating an addict? OF COURSE NOT. But has anybody seen my toaster?

He was a former co-worker.  One day I saw him at the mall. We exchanged numbers and had our first date. The relationship took off pretty fast. Although he had been through a very nasty divorce, he was ready to be in another relationship. I enjoyed his company. He was very sweet. We were together all the time. I wasn't used to that much attention. It was nice. He would often talk about his financial struggles. He had two children and was behind with his mortgage. When we were together, I wanted it to be like an escape. I noticed he enjoyed his alcohol. Sometimes he was too drunk to drive home. He was stressed. As time went on, his drinking turned to chain smoking. I encouraged him to not drink or smoke. He said he had it under control. I started to notice his clingyness. He wanted to have sex all of the time.  If I appeared even a little upset, he'd immediately make things better. His behavior was becoming more erratic. He would show up at my house unannounced and disoriented. I wanted him to get some help. He swore he would stop drinking and start using the patch. Things seemed to get better. He was less moody and more optimistic. He started working out and eating better. He was like the energizer bunny. A few months passed, I realized he NEVER slept. He was ALWAYS at the gym. He had found a new addiction. I had enough and called it quits. A week later my home was broken in to and my TV was stolen. Dammit! I knew CRACK was next.  Still Single

BIRDS OF A FEATHER ALMOST ALWAYS....

flock together. I thought when we met that this was it. He was everything that I was looking for. I knew his family and he knew mine. We shared the same interests and we had the same dreams. It didn't hurt that the SEX was off da hook! Things took off really fast but there was one thing? His FAMILY was just a little........

He lived in another city. We managed to make time for each other. He came to see me for my birthday and we hung out all weekend. When I went to see him, we would often hang around his family. Yes they were a little ghetto. But they were also really nice. I thought to myself "I have to be OPEN to different experiences". So what if his family seemed to drink too much. It also shouldn't matter that they always seemed to have a HUGE supply of WEED. So what if his friends seemed a little suspect and nobody had a JOB. You're not suppose to judge a man by his family and friends. He was different. Unlike his friends he had a job. He seemed really stable. He had two kids and was taking care of them, at least I thought.  One day I received an anonymous email. The email said; he had six kids, bad credit, and several outstanding warrants. My mind was racing. When I brought this to his attention, he tried to say  it was probably one of my old flings sending lies to break us up. I was stuck on STUPID. I started racking my brain trying to figure out who could it be. It was his ex. She hacked into his email and stole my address. Needless to say; he did have six kids in several states, several outstanding warrants for unpaid child support, bad credit, and had been living with this woman for TEN YEARS. I was right about one thing. He was different from his friends. They were honest. 
Still single.......

"IM JUST SAYING YOU COULD DO.....

BETTER"!  I knew he was cheating. I honestly didn’t care. I was exhausted with trying. All relationships have challenges. We had invested almost five years. Our families were involved. We had talked about marriage. I told myself “things will get better”. When it didn't, WE didn't know what to do. So we did what no man or woman should ever do, stay in a bad relationship because your scared to leave. I really wanted this to work.  I NEEDED this to work. I just couldn’t walk away. Something had to give. What do you do when the man that you are with is no longer the man that you love?


After the accident, he was different. He wasn't motivated to find work or even take a bath. I was holding down the household and all of the bills. I loved him. I knew he was depressed but he didn't want to admit it. I believed in him. I just couldn’t leave him when he was down.  I was working more hours and spending less time at home. I noticed his distance. I’m sure he could feel mine. I was drained. I had nothing left. I started to hang out more with my girls. He started to hang out more with his friends. EVERYONE could see what was happening. I knew I deserved better. Even his best friend told me that I should move on. Things just kept getting worst. He no longer had a cell phone, so he was using mine. One day I was reviewing my bill and noticed the same number at odd times. Not at all surprised, I just called her. She told me that it started as a friendship but later became sexual.  We talked for hours. I learned that she had been in my car. I learned that she had been in my home. He wasn't JUST f*cking this woman. They had become more. I thought I would be shattered. I thought I would feel betrayed. I thought…….  "this lying M**her F**ker had better get out of my house"!  I took a deep breath and regained my composure. She apologized and actually seemed sincere.  She said that he told her that we had been over.
Actually that was true……….Still Single.  

MY BABY'S MAMA AINT NOTHING BUT..

DRAMA? I planned to be a father SOMEDAY. Men are not groomed to dream about PRINCESS charming. Women have  tendencies to confuse sex for intimacy. I enjoy being single. And I support PLANNED PARENTHOOD. So what do you do when your FRIEND wants more than benefits?  Men don't have any say. I'm handling my responsibility. I thought she understood.  But she was dead wrong if she thought having a BABYwith me would turn us into THREE!


We were cool for years. No games just sex. She knew the deal. I wasn't stringing her along or promising more. We maintained very clear rules. We always practiced safe sex and she was also on the pill. Neither of us had any kids or wanted any, so I thought. One day, she tells me to come through. Her roommate is away, so we have the whole house. Our sexual chemistry was always on point.  But that night, she seemed more freaky. She told me she wanted to "FEEL" it. I wasn't thinking with the right head. Two months later, she says she's pregnant. I felt like KAIN from Menace to Society. "It ain't mine"? I was feeling set up. My life was spinning out of control. Booty calls turned into I love you calls. My friend NOW wanted to be my woman. I would never make this woman my wife. But she would ALWAYS be my baby mama. I was in shock. I finally accepted my status. I am going to be a father. After months of NOT playing house, my daughter was born. To this day, she claims she doesn't know how she got pregnant......So interesting since she also doesn't know how my name got submitted to child support.
Still Single

IS IT ME OR DID HE JUST NOT GET........

the hint! I'm open to meeting different people. I appreciate the sport of dating. Every date is not a love connection. But what if the date your on, is the worst date you ever had? You have nothing in common. You have nothing to talk about. You are watching the ice melt in your glass. Your waiting for him to end the agony and he mentions DESSERT?


I'm in my twenties. When someone offers to take me out, I'm usually game. My girlfriend hooked me up with a co-worker. I had all his vitals. Single, no kids, working on his masters degree and had his own place. DING! I noticed that he was little shy over the phone. I figured he would open up in person. We decided to meet at one of my favorite restaurants. From the moment we saw each other, he complained about there being too many white people. At first it was funny. Then it was annoying. WE are both from VA, duhhhhh. You are going to see some white people. I was trying to make the best out of a bad date. It wasn't happening. I started imagining other things that I could be doing with my time. "I surely had some coins to roll"? I had never felt so anxious to end a date. When the waiter came to take our order, I excused myself  to the ladies room. While looking in the mirror, I decided "I'm going to leave". I knew it was wrong, but I didn't care. I peaked out the door, he wasn't looking. I slid pass the host and shot to my car. I had conjured up a good, "I started my period story" for when he called. About an HOUR later, my phone rang.  I wondered what took him so long. He asked me was I ok, apparently he didn't realize I had left? I was done. I told him strait up. "The date was WACK, so I left". He then proceeded to ask could he come over.  I told him to lose my number and I hung up. He was more SHALLOW than HAL! Wasn't he on the same BAD date as me? Apparently not, he text me "whats up" the next day.

Still Single  

LOOKS FADE, BUT WEALTH IS.....

Forever! I don't date men JUST for material gain. I wasn't THAT type of woman. He just loved to buy me things. I knew I shouldn't have accepted his gifts. I was embarrassed to be seen with him. He was just so ugly. I wasn't the least bit attracted to him. And I knew he wanted more. I had no more excuses. I had to call it off. But he just bought my new Gucci? Men date women for superficial reasons all the time. What was wrong with wanting to be spoiled? I'm not a GOLD DIGGER! Or am I?

The lights were really low. I knew he was tall, but I couldn't really see his face. We talked the next day and he invited me for drinks.  I was immediately impressed with his choice of venue. He saw me first and I had to act like I knew who he was. He wasn't just not my type. He was atrocious. His teeth were decayed. His hair was receding and his head was oddly shaped. But he was dressed really nice. Over dinner, I found out that he was a VP at a brokerage firm. He had a million dollar home and property in the Hamptons. I knew that shouldn't have made a difference, but it did. I felt like Demi Moore from Indecent Proposal. Unfortunately, he wasn't Robert Redford. We had only kissed a few times. He never said, but I knew he expected something more in return. I decided to maintain my integrity. "I will not sleep with this man for nice things". We were heading to his house and as usual he had a surprise for me. It was time. I was ready to call it quits. When he opened the door, there were rose pedals all over the floor and five blue boxes. "Pick one", he said with no hesitation. I was speechless. I knew what needed to happen. A few minutes later, we were in his bed making love. I could grow to love him. "Could you dim the lights a little more?" Maybe Ill just keep my eyes shut. I was determined to make this work. The morning after, I left him a note declining his proposal. I thought I could break the spell. I guess in the end I'm not truly BEAUTY, because when this joker woke up he was surely still a BEAST.
Still Single.        

YOU EVER BEEN HIT ON BY SOMEONE.....

in a wheelchair? When you have been single for along time, you start to consider different types of people. You might think of someone from another race. You might try a different religion. So why not try someone who has a disability? What if the love of your life, has life limitations?

I've been "hey babied" plenty of times. This time was different. He was in a wheelchair. At first, I just ignored him. Then I looked at him. He was kind of cute. I became immediately infatuated with the concept of being with someone who was so vulnerable. I wanted to take care of him. Although I loved sex, I wanted  something more than just a physical connection. He was so expressive with his words. I guess since he wasn't able to physically show his affection. I was not the kind of woman who cooked and cleaned for a man. For him, I would cook his favorite meals and run all of his errands. He would write poetry and read to me. We were so in sync. To think, I was going to pass him by simply because he was in a wheelchair. I had never met anyone like him. Our relationship was unique. It made me feel special. One day I decided to surprise him. To my surprise, I opened the door and saw some girl giving him head. I was shocked and confused. "I thought he couldn't have sex"? He told me that he thought I was a GOOD GIRL. I had romanticized who he was. When actually, he was just like any other guy. He enjoyed casual sex and  wasn't ready to commit. Go figure, he wasn't as disabled as I thought.
Still Single.

I HAD TO ADMIT......"I DONT LIKE.....

YOUR KIDS"! It was terrible. But I just don't like them. When your over thirty years old, its difficult trying to find a; single, good looking, financially stable man who doesn't have at least one child. A man who takes care of his children is beautiful. I actually like children. I believe someday I will be a great mother. But what if the person you are starting to fall for has TWO bay bay kids whose mother is even worst? If I NEVER love his children could he TRULY ever love me?


We met through some mutual friends. My girlfriend swore I would like him. She was right. She had mentioned that he had two children from a previous relationship, but he was still a good catch. I've dated men with children before. They are not typically my first choice, but the season had been dry. After a few REALLY good conversations, we met for dinner. He was poised and educated. I appreciated the way he listened and offered good responses. Our relationship was going strong. We had been seeing each other for about three months. He never mentioned meeting his children. I was ok with that. I wanted to get to know him first. Another month had passed, he told me that he was taking his children to the park. He asked me to join them. I was a little hesitant, but figured it was time. I was starting to have genuine feelings for this man, so I wanted to make a good first impression. When I arrived at the park, he waved me over. I eagerly jogged over to the jungle gym, prepared for some play. He introduced me to his daughter, Nache. I spoke, "hi Nache"! She was only nine, and we stood almost eye to eye. She was about 120pds and didn't seem nice. She ignored my hello and rolled her eyes.  He then introduced me to his son, Nicolas. I figured I would have a better shot with a boy. Nicolas was four and still wearing a pull up. I'm not a parent, but that seemed odd. He appeared to be a little shy, but I was determined to win him over. After I wiped off all the dust he kicked on my clothes, I decided this was just a bad time. I tried everything; toys, clothes, outings. I even ignored their mothers rude comments over the phone when I answered. I decided to tell him how I felt. He told me that his children was his world and maybe I didn't understand because I wasn't a mother. At first I was hurt, then I was angry. I proceeded to tell him that when I am a mother, MY daughter will not need Jenny Craig at NINE and MY son will not be pissing on himself at FOUR. The relationship was over.  A few weeks later I ran into them at the grocery store. He spoke and his daughter just growled. I swear if she had put her hands up, it would have been ON!.....
Still Single.

WHEN THERE'S A "BOO" THERE'S ALWAYS...

A PUMPKIN! Commitment Phoebe's are unique individuals. They will have a myriad of relationships that may "appear" to be monogamous. They live in vague, grey status. You talk everyday. You've met their family. You can even stay in their home when they're not. Casual affairs can often mimic a REAL commitment. You want to move the relationship to the next level. You think your the exception to HIS rules, but the rule is: If he's calling YOU BOO, he's calling somebody else PUMPKIN.


The man was infuriating! I mean we had a strong connection. We talked almost everyday. We knew each other so well, but yet we are NOT a COUPLE. Whats up with that? I know all the signs of a commitment phoebe. He never says I LOVE YOU. He never says I'm his GIRL FRIEND. Whenever I try to have the TALK, he changes the topic. I get it. I decided to give him an ultimatum. "Either commit to me or I'm done"! He looked at me and grinned. "I'm serious". He told me that maybe I should take some time and think about my decision. I agreed. I went on a dating marathon. I met alot of nice guys who were all ready to offer me more. "He doesn't know what he's missing". A few weeks later I saw him out with another woman. I don't know why I was so surprised. I guess I thought he would actually miss me. A few days later he called. "Yes and how are you"? I was going to play it cool.  A few minutes later he picked me up and we went to the movies. I know! Maybe we both need therapy. Still Single.

I THINK MY HUSBAND FORGOT WHATS IT LIKE....

to be SINGLE! Single people want to be married. Married people want to be single. It happens. You get comfortable. You begin to take each other for granted. You begin to think what life would be like without them. Not sure if you really want to break up your happy home, you right it off as a rough patch in the relationship. And then it happens. The simple flirtation. So what do you do when your not the ONLY one considering being SINGLE?  

We met at a grocery store. Although my mom was with me, he shamelessly flirted. I tried to ignore him, but he was persistent. He asked my mother what was my status. She said "MARRIED". A little on the cocky side, he still gave me his business card. It was flattering but I was good, so I threw the card in my dash.  Act two, I see him AGAIN at Dave n Busters (with his kids?) Now I'm curious. He was a cutie pie, not exactly my type but still handsome.  I decided to look him up on Face Book. We had some mutual friends. Curious to know how he knew them, I sent him a message and there you go.  Starbucks, lunch, flowers, movies, dinner, it was exhilarating. We were talking/texting all the time. I FELT single again? About two months in, he decided he wanted more. He moved out and left HIS troubled marriage. WE found him a place.  Now it was my turn. My marriage was struggling too, but? My situation was different. My husband noticed the increased passion in our sex. I wasn't complaining as much. While seeing him, my marriage actually seemed to get better.  It may seem crazy, but having a FRIEND made me value my HUSBAND. It wasn't easy. But I let him go. My husband never found out and we are still happy today. May not seem fair, because Im not but HE is..... Still Single.